Always Remember

I find myself sitting down to write this post in a very reflective mood, and apologize now if that makes this post choppy and hard to follow. It has been a very long day. There was drop-off and pick-up for school, errands run, hours spent at the dance studio, and mini meals squeezed in whenever possible. Children were whiny and cranky, and I was less than gracious or patient most of the time. Today, more than any other perhaps, has been the epitome of what this blog is all about. For amid all the rough patches the day presented, I kept thinking what a blessing it is that I have this amazing life in which these minor issues are my big stresses.

On this day 11 years ago, I was in my dorm room watching Law & Order reruns on TNT. My roommate and I were slightly obsessed with the series and had it on at every possible occasion. The TV was on in the background as I was getting dressed when I noticed the sound had changed. I looked at the television screen to see a special report had appeared. I remember thinking this must be a pretty big deal for a cable network to be interrupting programming - I had never seen such a thing before. Then what I was seeing and hearing in front of me began to sink in, and become all the more unbelievable at the same time. As the minutes and hours unfolded, I wandered aimlessly around campus, stopping occasionally in the student center to watch the projector someone had erected with continuing coverage of the terrorist attacks, but mainly just walking outside, trying to make sense of my world that had been flipped upside down.

Earlier today I was marveling at the simple fact that none of my children will know anything of the world before what we now simply refer to as 9/11. But as I thought about it more, I realized that I don't remember much of pre-9/11 life either. As a child, I grew up in a nice, cushy, protected bubble. I went to Catholic schools and surrounded myself with friends who focused on the positive yet sheltered side of life. I was a freshman at Texas A&M University in 2001, adjusting to exploring and living outside my comfortable bubble. Less than a month into college, I grew up more than I would ever have imagined possible. I think many my age lost our innocence and youthful outlook on life on that fateful day. I very much connect the separation between my childhood and adulthood with September 11, 2001. I was able to call and touch base with my family, but I was on my own, having to find solace and comfort with the friends I was making in my new home at school.

I feel like nowadays we associate post-9/11 life with the hassles it's brought: increased airport security and other prohibitive measures that inconvenience many to weed out the few. I know for me the most clear difference between then and now is that when I was a kid we went all the way to the gate at the airport to pick up my dad when he came home from business trips. And maybe that's the most amazing aspect of the whole thing - that through a terrorist attack and the wars that have resulted from it, life for most of us has gone on fairly unaffected. Thanks to Ben's jobs we have always lived in places with a substantial military presence, and I feel this has given me the opportunity to see and appreciate just how much these men and women sacrifice every single day for our freedom. But I know there are many people in our country who don't know any military personnel or have any connection with service men and women. Then there's the police and fire departments. How many of us gripe about the jerk who's looking for an excuse to write a speeding ticket? I can't imagine being the spouse of that police officer, who might happen upon the wrong car and get injured or killed just for trying to do his job. Or the spouse of a firefighter, who risks his or her own life for complete strangers day after day simply because that's their job, what they've committed themselves to do.

As always, today should not be about beating ourselves up for the things we take for granted or the people we don't thank enough. I wish with my whole being that the thousands of lives lost on this day 11 years ago could be brought back. But as this is an impossible dream, I will settle for thanking God for ALL I have in my life - the good and the bad. Because I am lucky enough to live in this amazing country, where my kids can get a quality education, where we can make a good enough living to have all we need and much of what we want, and where we are free to express ourselves. I pray my children will never have to experience a day like September 11, 2001, but I will make sure they understand what the day means to me and how each and every day is in itself truly a blessing.