Changing Tides

I remember for months after Molly was born I would look at her, then Ava and Jocelyn, and marvel that in fact the age gap between Jocelyn and Molly (22 months) was smaller than the gap between Ava and Jocie (28 months). Ava and Jocelyn have played together and been friends for so long, it seemed Molly would never catch up to her big sisters.

Today I saw just how far we have all come. Jocelyn and Molly were playing some make-believe role-playing game - just the two of them. They were in their own little world and completely content in it. I meanwhile got to sit with Ava for 10 or 15 minutes while she showed me her science journal from school. It was almost surreal to see that Ava is growing now to the point where Jocelyn and Molly have as much if not more in common with each other as they do with their biggest sister. It seems like we made this transition in the blink of an eye. I can't believe that my newborn who would never keep up with her sisters is now 2 and playing a very active role in her sisterly relationships. It brings a somewhat bittersweet smile to my face, but a smile nonetheless.

Decompressing

I have had the last two hours or so all to myself. Ben was working in the study after the girls went to bed, and turned in early himself. I was sitting on my couch, nibbling on Nilla Wafers, watching Castle reruns, and occasionally perusing my tablet. For some reason these relaxing activities acted as a sort of meditative refocusing for me. I was thinking about how lucky I am to have a husband who is so actively involved in our children's lives. I thought about how adorable it was today when Molly was putting clips in her hair and insisting on walking in her big sister's Hello Kitty slippers. I recalled Jocelyn rediscovering some dress-up high heels and tap dancing all over the house in them, and Ava trying so very hard to cuddle tonight, but being so wired she just couldn't sit still. Today was a very typical day for me - running errands, doing chores, trying to be as productive as possible with countless interruptions. But tonight I go to bed feeling very at peace and content in my life. It is not easy or boring by any stretch, but I cannot imagine being happier any other way. I am glad to have stumbled on the unexpected opportunity to reflect on these happy thoughts.

Consolation Painting

Today was absolutely GORGEOUS. After last week when we didn't see the temperature get above 30, today's high was in the mid 60s. Unfortunately for my children, we did not take advantage of the weather at all. I woke up for the third morning in a row with a TERRIBLE headache. (Seems the time has come to get a new pillow.) I could barely even see straight until halfway through the morning, and by then all I wanted to do was veg and recover. So as a sort of consolation for not getting out of the house, I pulled out the finger paints and we had a painting session before lunchtime.

The girls loved it. They spent a good 30 minutes (Molly more like 45) painting. It started off slow - one color, one finger - but quickly became a full on color-mixing, whole-hand masterpiece-making experience. I still feel bad we didn't get to breathe in a little fresh air, but hopefully with our art time I saved myself from Worst Mom of the Day.

Miss (Almost) Brave

Tonight was Seward family Movie Night, and the feature film was Brave. Only Ava had seen any of it, and she had only seen the first half or so. From the first scene, Ben and I were laughing at how much the main character Merida reminds us of Jocelyn. From the running and jumping all around to the crazy curls cascading all around, it seemed Jocie may have found an animated kindred spirit.

That is, until the final scenes unfolded. So as not so potentially spoil anything for those who may still want to see the movie for themselves, I'll just say there are some pretty intense scenes involving bears and the potential for these animals and some of the humans meeting very violent ends. It was long before these scenes that Jocelyn had crawled into Ben's lap, and by the end she didn't care who she was sitting with, she was just sobbing. "I don't like this movie! This is too scary!!" is what I believe I deciphered through the hysterical tears. And yet, when she moved from Ben to me and I told her to just look away and I'd tell her when the scary part was all done, she couldn't help but watch. Jocelyn has always been my emotional child, which is something I find endearing but cannot relate to in the least. I could count on one hand the number of movies that made me sad enough to actually cry at in my entire life - Jocie probably already has me beat in that department. She lives her life with her heart on her sleeve, and loves, laughs, hates, and cries without restraint. She may not be brave enough to watch this movie again for a while, but I love my crazy red-haired child and will be there to snuggle and soothe her when she does.

The Gift of Thanks

This afternoon we said good-bye to our out-of-town friends. We gave hugs, said we'd miss our guests and see them soon, and waved good-bye out the window. When I went upstairs to collect the bedding to be washed, I noticed a card sitting atop the pile of linens. It was a thank-you note from the girls who had stayed here, as well as a gift card for our hospitality. It was SO unexpected, it just made my day. Similarly, last week we received a thank-you card and gift from our friends whose daughters we watched while they were having their third child. I did both of these things because I love hosting people in our home and enjoy helping out whenever I am able. I in no way expected or even thought about being compensated or thanked formally for my actions. To feel appreciated is such a gift in itself. I knew that these girls appreciated getting to stay here, but to have them show their appreciation made me feel very special. They really blessed me with their gift of thanks.

Lightbulb

Today I had a pretty big breakthrough in my life as a parent. It had been a slightly-worse-than-average day. All three kids didn't sleep very well last night. Due to all of our guests, I had put Ava on a spare mattress in Molly's room and had Jocelyn sleep on Ben's side of the bed since he is in Virginia Beach for his Navy Reserve weekend. I made the mistake of not telling them there would be different sleeping arrangements until just before bedtime, so they were all worked up and didn't get to sleep until much later than normal. So while they were far from awful today, they were all overtired and not their best selves. There was some whining, crying for no real reason, overreacting when something didn't go their way.

Often, I find myself telling my daughters, "Please remember, there is one of me and three of you." I usually say this when they all are asking for something, or need help with something, or have stories they must all share at once. I say it even more often on these weekends when I am essentially single-parenting and know that I will not be getting my evening relief and back-up from Ben. But this afternoon, I suddenly had the thought: there is only ONE of me. And at this point, I am the ONE who my children tell their stories to. My kids play together, but they're not old enough to be telling stories and sharing their days with each other. I am the only one who will listen to them talk about the silly thing they did in music, or the new move they learned in dance class. I am the ONE who can answer why there are white lines on the road, or why a car somewhere honked. My children need an adult to talk to them and answer their questions, and the vast majority of the time that adult is me. Just because I am tired of hearing my name called hundreds of times each day doesn't mean that they don't deserve to have their inane stories heard and senseless questions answered.

Example: Over the last 3 weeks or so, I have been working with the girls on taking turns talking to me while we are in the car. Once we are in the car and I am a captive audience, everyone has things to tell me. I will say, "Jocelyn, Ava said my name first, so I am going to talk to her now and then it will be your turn." I talk to Ava, then say "Okay Jocie, now it's your turn." (Or vice versa) Every time Molly will wait for the second person to finish their conversation, then shout "My turn Momma! My turn!" I say, "Yes, Molly?" And EVERY time, Molly replies with "My leg hurts." I repeat back to her: "Your leg hurts?" "Yeah." I tell her I'm very sorry to hear that, and she nods her head satisfactorily and returns to looking out the window. The bottom line is that while she doesn't have anything important to tell me, Molly has watched me give my undivided attention to each of her sisters and wants her fair share. Once she is satisfied she has had her moment, artificial though it may be, she is content and goes about her business. I have taken from this just how important it is to give my kids their due attention.

I end today with a renewed purpose as a mom. I am going to try to be more patient with my kids not because it's the nice thing to do, but because right now my kids need a mom who will truly listen and respond to them. It is darn near impossible to imagine now, but there will come a time when my kids won't want to talk to me at all, when I will be the one desperately trying to get them to respond to me. I will want them to humor me and communicate with me even when they are tired and not in the mood. It only seems fair that I lead by example.

Fun with Visitors

We got some visitors in town today. Ben's cousin and Molly's godmother Bev came to hang out with us for the weekend, as well as two of her good friends. Tonight the three of them as well as one of the girl's boyfriend had eaten an early dinner and then came back to our house to hang out. They hadn't wanted to impose on us; I didn't want their catch-up time destroyed by my attention-loving daughters.

In the end, everyone had a wonderful evening. My daughters were enamored with all of their big friends, especially a big boy who could dance with them standing on his feet and drag them across the floor wrapped around his ankles. Our guests had a blast playing hide-and-seek and tickling my kids to no end. I enjoyed being able to open my house to these wonderful friends, and providing free entertainment as a bonus. I could not have thought of a better way to start the weekend.

hair-braiding with Miss Bekah

Molly and Rexy flying to touch the light

poor Mr. JP dragging my older 2 across the room

Middle Child Time

Today was a bit of a rough day for Jocelyn. She got sick first thing this morning - threw up for absolutely no reason that I could figure out. She was eating up a storm, then all of a sudden it all came back up. I think that threw Jocie off her game a little. She kept bouncing back and forth between extremes of lethargic and manic behaviors. By the afternoon, her attention had turned to her sisters, and she was constantly trying to hug them to death, take their toys away, or bully her way into negative attention. Several times I steered her toward a path that would avoid time outs by asking her to help me do some chores. She helped me load the washing machine with a load of clothes; later she helped transfer those clothes to the dryer. She helped make our pizzas for dinner. She got plates out and put them on the table. Each of these times we got to spend a few moments just the two of us. Even though it was never much more than five minutes, she was getting my undivided attention. In turn, I was keeping her from making choices that would only end in punishment. An overall win for everyone.

Hanging By a Moment

Today started off much how yesterday ended, unfortunately - with me pretty annoyed at the world. I had to argue with my daughters AGAIN this morning about appropriate winter attire. Every morning I try to explain that when it is cold enough to snow, it is too cold for just tights or leggings, since they still go outside for recess in the cold. Ultimately they end up whining if not crying, and I end up yelling at them to get over it and hurry up so as not to be late. Then I discovered that my dishwasher that I could have sworn had been emptied was in fact still full of clean dishes, and the laundry fairy had left me in my laundry basket two full loads to unwrinkle and fold, as well as a third load still in the dryer. All these lovely events transpired less than one hour of getting out of bed.

I made the decision very quickly to forego my errands for the morning and just come home and regroup. I completed my chores and showered in hopes of washing away some of my irritation. It only worked a little. I realized that this was going to be one of those days when I just needed some time to myself. Ben was planning to make a commissary run this evening, but I asked to go instead and take that time for myself.

It did the trick. As I pulled out of our neighborhood I put in my Lifehouse album. I'm surprised the thing still even works - I bought the CD the summer before my senior year in high school, and played it thousands of times. I especially enjoyed listening to it when I had a rough day; the music somehow always had a way of recentering me. Today it worked its magic again. I turned my speakers way up and sang at the top of my lungs to songs I still know by heart. And once I had climbed out of my funk, I wasn't going to let anything - not rude drivers, senseless traffic, or disobedient children - bring me back down. I'm still not my usual cheery self, but I'm happy to say I'm headed in the right direction.

Instinct and Forgiveness

Today was not my finest day. I had two instances that I did not handle well. First, Jocelyn was late to her dance class. Ben was supposed to get off work early enough to take her, but he hit traffic. Then it took forever to creep along the kiss-n-ride line to pick up Ava, and the other girl we take to the dance studio was even later still. I was so annoyed - I'm such a stickler for punctuality and hate to be late more than just about anything. So I did what any sane adult should NOT do, and screamed at the top of my lungs. In the car. With all three of my daughters watching confused as hell. (Our carpool was not in the car yet - at least I haven't lost it THAT badly.) I felt bad for setting such a poor example, but I just couldn't cope anymore and had to let off that little bit of steam.

Then coming home from dance, I got as close as I've ever come to being involved in a car crash. Out of nowhere the van two cars ahead of me slammed on his brakes and swerved onto the shoulder to avoid hitting the car in front of him. I have no idea why - traffic was slow but not stopped, and I didn't see anyone cut in front of this van. Regardless, his abrupt stop caused both the car ahead of me and I to brake hard as well, and I found myself veering to the shoulder to safely make the stop without hitting anyone. Needless to say, I was pretty shaken by the event. My children were trying to cope with it in their own way, of course. Ava said, "Wow, we were almost in a crash! It's a good thing we didn't crash. Wasn't that close to being a crash?" etc. I very curtly asked there just to be no talking the rest of the (2 1/2 mile) ride home.

I write all this to ultimately praise my children. They took my craziness in stride today. When I was losing it and throwing my temper tantrum. they knew better than to engage me. When I asked for quiet after our almost-crash, there was total silence the whole way home. At the end of the evening, I sat down with Ava and Jocie. I told them that I had made some bad behavior choices today and was sorry for that. Jocelyn immediately came and hugged me and Ava told me she forgave me. I don't know how these little people can be so resilient and understandng, but I hope to learn from them and become half as accepting and forgiving as them.

Monday Funday (hey, why not?)

This morning I forced Ava to watch President Obama's inauguration with me. I made her sit with me from the time the distinguished guests began to come out the archway at the Capitol until the Star Spangled Banner completed its final not - about an hour and a half in total. She was not super thrilled in the beginning, but became more and more interested as I explained different things to her: who the people were, what they were doing, why we do this, how special it is that we do this. I felt much of the same pride I felt on Election Day. Today was great because we live in a country where we as people have a voice and the power to have that voice heard. Whether the person sworn in is who I voted for or not, this is now my President for the next four years, and it is my responsibility as an American citizen to respect the people who were elected into office. It seems the last few elections there has been a growing disrespect for the people in political office by the people who did not vote for the winner. The whole point of democracy is that we all get an opinion, and sometimes our opinion is shared with the majority and sometimes it isn't. We are all Americans, and should support each other and work together to continue to improve our nation, not cut each other down for not thinking the same way. I showed Ava on the television all the hundreds of thousands of people standing in a spot we have been to ourselves. I explained to her that many of those people had traveled from all over the country to see this special ceremony in person. I hope that today she was able to understand just a little better what a privilege it is to live in our nation.

Then this evening we had a gathering of the Three Families - Sewards, Halls, and Foleys. As usual, it was moderate chaos - kids playing in several rooms all over the house, the men retreating downstairs to Ben's Man Cave, and the women enjoying distracted kids and husbands and having some uninterrupted conversations. We are 6 adults with a few shared traits - all military men, former or present, and all stay-at-home moms on some level; but we are very different as well - we grew up all over the country, have our own quirks and hobbies. Sharon is a terrific cook and baker, where I like to spend as little time in the kitchen as possible. Ben is Mr. Handy, while Logan is probably safest upstairs watching football with me. Our children are growing up together more as family than friends - they like to play together some of the time, but are perfectly content playing on their own at other times. I feel so blessed to have found this little smorgasbord of a makeshift family. They make my life at times more bearable and always brighter.

Game Night

This afternoon Ava decided she wanted to play checkers. She asked me if I would play with her, and I turned her down. I know her ability is limited, and my patience was even less than her ability, so for both our sakes I didn't think it was a good idea. Ben agreed to play with her after dinner, however, and I told Jocelyn we could play a game of our own, and was quite excited for a little impromptu game night.

It will be more of a funny memory for me than a fun one. I had imagined this nice, peaceful scene with all of us playing games together, having a nice time and enjoying one another's company. In reality, I was trying to keep Jocelyn focused on our Yahtzee and Memory games while I could hear Ben trying to show Ava over and over the checkers moves she was missing, all while Molly moved from game to game trying to be as in the way as humanly possible. I'm not sure where we went wrong, but it was not the serene bonding experience I had hoped for. It was comedic, however, and a good starting point for many game nights to come. I mean, it can only go up from here, right?

Roller Coaster

Today was a VERY up and down day. One minute I was spending time with Molly sitting on my lap "reading" books to me. The next my children are running and screaming through my house like possessed hoodlums. Then I'm snuggling with Jocelyn watching a movie during quiet time. Shortly after dinner my stomach decided to turn on me, and I spent most of the evening lying in the fetal position on my bed. I could hear, however, Ben watching a movie and spending some nice time with Jocie and Molly. Ava did not get to participate because she threw a HECK of a tantrum before bathtime, and ended up skipping her bath altogether and getting sent to bed early kicking and screaming (literally, unfortunately). Molly was plenty mad that I could not put her to bed tonight and made sure that her Daddy and I both knew it, as Ben had to pry her off of me screaming "I REALLY NEED MY MOMMY!!" However, after about 15 or 20 minutes of snuggling, Ben managed to calm Molly down and get her to bed peacefully.

Days like today happen from time to time, and are good reminders to me why I started this blog in the first place. During the bad times it was difficult to think about something good that had happened; and yet, when something good did occur, I made sure to appreciate it all the more and hold on to those memories. I hope tomorrow is a little more even-keeled than today was, but will take the good with the bad and be grateful for both.

Preschool Open House

Tonight Jocie's preschool had its annual open house and family fun night. Jocelyn didn't find out about it until after school, and from then until we got in the car to leave she was bouncing around the house with excitement. This is the first year that it's just HER school, and so I think she has much more pride and ownership of the preschool. She couldn't wait to see her friends and play in all of the different rooms.

I actually missed a lot of the open house. I got to have some pizza at the very beginning, but then had to dash off and pick Ava up at the dance studio. Then we headed back to the preschool in time for the last portion of the evening, which is a sing-a-long. The music teacher sings 4 or 5 songs with the kids, who at this point are pretty much bouncing off the walls as it is after 8pm. Ava enjoyed seeing her old teachers, although not half as excited as they were to see her. She got to share about her kindergarten and dance, and walk around as the alum for the first time.

As I stood in the family room watching all these kids singing and dancing, I took the time to look at each of my daughters. Ava was smiling and singing along to songs she had not heard in almost a year but began to recall almost immediately. Jocelyn sang and danced with her friends, grinning and laughing every second. And Molly was watching everyone and doing surprisingly well at following the hand and foot movements to each of the songs. Each year, this event reminds me how thankful I am that we found this school. My girls have and will continue to flourish and grow with the wonderful staff and students. It is a special place, and perfect for my special girls.

Jocie with her friend Michelle

showing off some face paint

Dancing to the Dinosaur song - Molly's favorite

Drama and Dancing

This afternoon all hopes of having an even semi-dramaless child were completely dashed. I was putting Molly in bed for her nap. She was holding a tiny My Little Pony basket, probably the size of a quarter in diameter. Knowing that she has a tendency to still put things in her mouth absent-mindedly, and not wanted to be stressed every second she was napping, I told her the "goody bag," as she was referring to it, had to sleep on her dresser until quiet time was over. She was fine with that... until she actually put said goody bag on said dresser. THEN she lost her mind. Sticking to my guns, I put her in her bed, kissed her, and left the room. It took a good 20 minutes for her to calm down and go to sleep. And for those entire 20 minutes, I kept hearing her repeat, "My goody bag! I can't believe it! Oh, my goody bag!" I mean, really?!? What 2-year-old knows "I can't believe it"? How does Molly even know that? But the dramatic tone in her voice of the tragedy that had befallen her laid to rest any hopes I had of having a single low-maintenance child. Oh, I love my girls, but this is how I know that God has quite the sense of humor.

A few hours later, I picked Ava up from school. Ben was home, so he kept the younger two and I was able to walk to get Ava rather than sit in the kiss-and-ride line. When she saw me, Ava ran up to me and looked back to her teacher assistant, saying "Bye, Mrs. Burgin! I'll be sure to wear my pj's inside out!!" Um... huh? I asked Ava what in the world she was talking about. She very animatedly informed me that her class had done a snow dance before leaving school, and that her teachers had told them exactly what to do to make sure it snowed. Apparently, if you want it to snow, you must flush ice cubes down the toilet, put a spoon under your pillow, and wear your pajamas inside out. Oh, and do some crazy dance moves claiming to be a snow dance. Which Ava was sure to do for 20 minutes straight before dinner tonight. I had to convince her that interrupting her dance to eat dinner was okay. I unfortunately also had to prep Ava for the likelihood that all of her tricks would prove futile, as the chance of us getting snow somehow went from 80% to nothing. But it was still so fun to see how excited she was to have learned the tricks to make it snow. One of her classmates had been walking home with her mom about 10 feet in front of us, and I could hear her telling her mom exactly what Ava had been sharing with me, just as excitedly. They may not remember what she did in math or science today, but they will certainly remember the secret way to make it snow for many years to come.

A Healer's Heart

This afternoon when I picked Jocelyn up from school I asked her how her day had been, as I do most days. One of her first responses was that both her teacher and the music teacher had been out sick. I said something like Oh that's too bad. Jocelyn sat and thought for a minute, then said, "Mommy, I'm going to make them well cards." (aka get well cards) Sure enough, this afternoon she folded pieces of construction paper in half and made get well cards for both of her teachers. She has such a kind heart, and always is searching for ways to make others feel better, physically and emotionally.

My Molly Monkey

This morning Ben got Molly our of her crib, and a few minutes brought her into our room fully dressed, informing me that she had peed out of her diaper and onto her pajamas and bed. So after I got Ava off to school I went in to strip Molly's bed. This first meant removing the 11 or 12 stuffed animals, 3 blankets, and 2 pillows that were currently taking up residence. I put on a new sheet and replaced her pillowcase and put the pillow back in, taking the linens to be washed and leaving the animals next to her bed on the floor. Molly looked at me and asked to get into her bed. I eyed her skeptically and said, "Are you sure? You want to get IN your bed?" She said yes, so up she went into her crib. She must have played in there for at least 20 minutes, most of which she was just rolling from one side to the other. In my head I was thinking, Yeah, this is what happens when your bed isn't taken over by stuffed animals! She was happy as a clam, and I got the laundry in and even tidied up a little with the extra toddler-contained time. She is a little monkey, and I wouldn't have her any other way.

More Baby Snuggles

Today I finally got to meet baby Catherine. I dropped Ava at her Religious Ed class and headed to the Foleys to meet her. (When Ava found out where we were going while she was in class, she made me promise to take a picture of Catherine and put it on the computer so she could get to see her too.) We got there, and she was actually a little awake. I raced to wash my hands, and held her the entire hour that we were there. She squirmed once or twice, even made a noise or two, but overall just slept. I stared at her and basked in the wonderfulness of a newborn. Jaxon is still little, but Catherine is a true newborn, still all curled up in a ball and not yet opening her eyes to take in the world around her. There is something so precious and wonderful about the trust of a newborn. Catherine wanted to sleep sitting up with her chin resting in my hand. To look at her, it seemed a very uncomfortable position. But she liked it, and knew that I would hold her there and keep her safe until I handed her off to the next person who would do the same. She doesn't know doubt or mistrust, only love and safety. Having my own newborns is of course special, but I am really loving this time with other newborns that, while they are not my own flesh and blood, I love dearly and can't wait to watch grow into incredible young people.

Hellos and Good-byes

Today was a whirlwind, full of saying hellos and good-byes along the way. I started my morning with Papa saying good-bye to Jocie and Molly (and Ben). My dad was coming with me to pick up Ava at the end of her dance workshop, and would head straight to the airport after that. The girls did really well, actually... although I'm cautious in my optimism. They are used to my dad leaving the house for day meetings and such, so I'll be curious to see if they expect him to be here again in the morning and then REALLY be upset once it sets in that he's gone home and won't be back to visit for a while.

We had to drive to the far side of Baltimore to get Ava. I'm not going to lie, I was pretty excited to see her and hear all about the fun she had during her weekend. She came around the corner, saw me... and her shoulders slumped. She was not happy to see me. At all. I would be told later she apparently thought that other people were going back to the hotel to have more fun and she was sad she wouldn't be there too. Nonetheless, it was kind of a bummer for me that my daughter was less than thrilled to be coming home with me. We got her and two of her friends whose sisters would be dancing into the evening and left around lunchtime to head back to Virginia.

I dropped my dad at the airport and said good-bye there. Then I dropped Ava's friend Molly off at her house and said good-bye again. As I pulled into my driveway I found our friend Katy there about to leave with Jocelyn. One of Katy's friends was performing in a children's play of the Ugly Duckling, and she had invited Jocelyn to go with her. So I said a quick hello and good-bye to them as they walked out the door and I walked in. No sooner had we parked when Ava noticed Molly had left her diabetes testing supplies in our car...

So it was back to Molly's house for me. I dropped of the supplies, said hello and good-bye once more, and finally made it back home for good. Jocie came home a couple hours later, and after a whirlwind day of comings and goings we were once again back to our original fivesome. I am glad we had such a fun week and weekend full of friends and family, but am just as glad to be getting back to our normal (albeit chaotic) routine in the days to come.

Family Day

Today was weird for me. Ava was gone all day at a dance workshop in Maryland. She went up last night with her friend Molly and her sister and mom, and other than a text and picture first thing this morning I have not heard a word from her. A big part of me is glad - I am proud of how independent my daughters are and how well they do without me. And yet, there's been a small part of me that has been really missing her today. So to take my mind off of who was NOT home today, I focused on the family that was here.

Today is Papa's last full day with us, and even though my kids don't know this they took full advantage of the day. Jocelyn enlisted Papa's help to put together 2 puzzles, the girls read books with him, and we ended things with a not-so-quiet but still nice dinner out. It was a nice quiet day spent enjoying each other's company. I know the girls (and I) will be sad to see my dad leave tomorrow, but I am very glad that they got to make some great memories today to hold them until next time.

working on a 100-piece princess puzzle

reading a riveting Dora tale

my dinner dates sitting to my right

and to my left

Baby Time

Tonight I got some much anticipated newborn-baby time. One of the dance teachers at Ava's dance studio (who also taught the class I took last year) had a little boy the day after Thanksgiving. I hadn't been able to go meet him yet since I've been sick for so long. But today I offered to watch Jaxon while his momma taught some classes. I literally walked the hallway in the dance studio holding this precious 6-week-old for almost 3 hours. I changed him once, but that was the only time he wasn't nestled in the crook of my arm. He was perfect - he stayed awake most of the time but just sucked on his pacifier and looked around lazily. I heard him grunt once or twice, but he never cried. I had so much fun loving on that sweet little boy. While I in no way desire to have a newborn of my own, it was so very nice to hold a baby again. There is no other feeling in the world, and life seems a bit brighter with a baby in your arms.

my view for the evening

My bonus high point for the day was how fantastically Jocelyn and Molly behaved while I was on Jaxon duty. We were all at the dance studio for those three hours, and I was prepared for my daughters to get stir crazy quickly. I did my best to equip ourselves with snacks and toys. And the girls did great. Molly was hilarious - she was like a guard dog as I held Jaxon. She hovered inches from me, and got very annoyed if anyone else came over to look at him. She was equally annoyed that I wasn't letting her hold him; she kept saying, "My turn, Momma, my turn!" stretching her arms out ready to take the baby off of my hands. Both girls played quietly, ate their dinner, and just behaved incredibly. I couldn't have been prouder of my girls for making the best of the situation, occupying themselves while I could take care of their new little friend.

eating dinner in the dressing room

playing the tablet together

Peas in a Pod

Today I went with Jocelyn, Molly, and my dad to buy some new dishes. Our stoneware has begun to chip and crack over the last year so we're down a few items. My parents offered to get us some Corelle place settings for Christmas but wanted to be sure we could pick out what we wanted, so that's what we were doing this morning. Overall it probably took me about 30 to 45 minutes to make a decision and buy a set. The nice thing: I get my hyper-analytical tendencies from my dad, who will take twice as long at the grocery store pricing every single item he is shopping for. Had Ben been with me, he would have been pretty annoyed (and perhaps reasonably so) that I was taking so long weighing my options and picking out which I wanted to purchase. As much as I can even annoy myself with how long it takes me to make a decision, today it was nice to be with someone else who's even worse than me about it. The pressure was off, I was able to take my time, and I came home with new plates I am very excited to wash and use for many years to come.

Good Parenting

Today's highlight came at the kids' bedtime. As is quite typical, after Molly had been put in her bed she continued talking to herself. Ben, my dad and I were all sitting down in the living room listening to her singing Itsy Bitsy Spider at the top of her lungs. A few minutes later Jocelyn came out of her room complaining about something not important enough for me to remember. All of a sudden we hear from Molly's room, "BE QUIET, SISTER!!" It was one of those moments I was glad all the kids were upstairs and therefore couldn't see all three adults laughing hysterically. The irony of this little person yapping loudly one minute and then scolding her sister the next minute was too funny. If they had been within eyesight I would have had to put on my best mom-face while telling Molly to mind her own business. Fortunately, I was able to go without my parent hat for the moment and just enjoy the hilarity of the whole situation.

Phonetics

I was putting groceries away this morning and found this on the fridge:

Ava has been working on sounding out words a lot the last few months. The spelling may not be perfect, but the sentiment is pretty clear. The rest of the day I looked at this each time I passed the fridge, and it brought a smile to my face each time.

Catch-Up Coffee

Today I got to spend the morning with a friend of mine who I haven't seen in a few months. We got some coffee at Barnes and Noble, letting Molly spend some time at the train table there, and then ran a few errands. It was quiet, nothing eventful, just two friends getting to spend time together, talk, and catch up. I hadn't realized how much I'd missed getting together with her until today. I was so glad I got some Sara-time in, and hope we can do it again soon.

The Allure of Chuck E.

Today we took the whole family to the birthday party of one of Jocelyn's classmates. This party happened to be at Chuck E. Cheese. It seems we have entered the stage in our parenting when there is at least one Chuck E. Cheese birthday party a month to attend. My kids couldn't be happier - all of them, even Molly, were getting in the car saying, "Yay, Chuck E. Cheese!" For me, on the other hand, it's a little less exciting. It's loud, the food is minimal, I end up chasing my kids around as they play games not as well as I could which annoys me more than is rational. Then we spend 10 minutes deciding which 25 cent toy we're going to buy with our 100 tickets. It seems like such a waste of time and money, it pains me going there each time.

But then we spent the two hours at this party. The girls had an amazing time. They played games, ate pizza and cake, got their prizes, and had smiles on their faces every second. And as I saw this I found myself thinking, this place really isn't so bad. I mean, it's still loud and germy, but I can stand it every once in a while for the fun my kids have. I watched them and remembered how excited I used to be when I'd get to go to Chuck E. Cheese. Sometimes growing up is overrated; I'm trying to remember that more and more as we encounter these events that are not so fun for me but that bring such joy to my girls' day.

Sporty Spice

Halfway through the morning, Molly came up to me and said, "Piggies, piggies!" This indicates that she wants pigtails in her hair. I wasn't sure she really wanted to sit through my putting two pigtails in her hair (and I really wasn't up to that battle anyway) so I experimented with putting just a single ponytail in her hair. It stayed that way all day long. I am still having so much fun with one of my children having hair at such a young age! All day long I kept wanting to call her Sporty Spice, because she just had this sporty look to her. It was pretty darn cute if I do say so myself.

the view from the front 

side view

Then as added entertainment, after bathtime my youngest daughter provided a few more memorable looks. First, there was her big sister's boots on top of her sleeper pj's:

Then she found a set of goggles that belong to a swimming puppy we have somewhere. I love this kid and her emerging desire to accessorize.

Aggie Day, Bowl-style

Tonight our Texas A&M Aggies played in the Cotton Bowl. It was a bittersweet day for me, as it's the last Aggie football game until next fall. I HATE the end of college football season - the world just seems a little emptier without it. (Dramatic, I know, but there it is.) However, in our best season in a VERY long time, I was excited to see us play against an old Big 12 rival to see how we really stack up and improved.

My Ags did not disappoint. It was a great game. Even better, Ben and I went to one of his coworker's apartments to watch the game with a few other people. After everyone got used to my yelling at the players to make the damn tackle or run faster it was a lot of fun. I don't usually enjoy watching football with other people, especially people I don't know well, since I get so intense and look a little crazed. But Ben's coworkers are fun people, and it was nice to get to know them better while showing off what a terrific football program our school now has.

It is way past midnight as I am heading to bed, and while I dread the sleep deprivation I will no doubt be feeling tomorrow I could not be happier with the way my day went. I am still very sad that I will be without Aggie football for the next 8 months, but I can't wait to see what those boys have in store for us next season.

My bonus for the day: this morning I explained to the girls that this was going to be the last Aggie Day for a while. I don't know if it was because they haven't been forced into their A&M gear in a while, they could see how important this was to me, or they were just in good enough moods to humor me, but all three girls wore their Aggie apparel happily. Here are a few pics of my little Aggie fans.

Ava whooping

Jocie giving her best Gig 'Em

Molly saying "Touchdown!" with princesses in hand

Three lil Aggies

The older 2 wanted to do one more silly picture, but Molly was NOT interested ;)

Zoo a la Seward

This evening at bathtime I had one of those crazy Mom moments. Ava and Jocelyn were already in the bath, and I was trying to wrangle Molly to join the crew. I suddenly hear Ava say, "Stop trying to smell my wiener!!" I stick my head into the bathroom and say in my sternest voice that I don't EVER want to hear her say that again. Oh, and by the way... you don't have a wiener. Ava looked at me and said, "What do I have? Oh yeah, a bootie!" Good enough for now. I looked over at Jocelyn about to reprimand her when I see her with a bath doll in her mouth. So I decided to pick my battles and just yelled at her to get the toy out of her mouth, she's not a baby! Seconds later, I feel wind behind me as Molly runs by completely naked holding two of her stuffed animals screeching (albeit happily) "NO BATH!!" To which both the older girls start giggling uncontrollably, and I stand in my hallway wondering how in the world I got here? I live in a zoo. There is no other way to describe it. I pretend like I have everything under control, and sometimes I actually do. But most of the time I just contain the circus to the best of my ability and hope for the best. And as crazy as it all is and as overwhelmed as I sometimes feel, I LOVE MY LIFE and wouldn't change a single thing.

Supergirls

Today was another one of those Plan B days. We had some last minute guests: last night just after 8pm our friend Logan dropped off Lillian and Marian to stay at our house while he met Amanda at the hospital to welcome what turned out to be their third daughter, Catherine, into the world. So as we got back into our regular routine today with Jocelyn and Ava returning to school, we had two extra friends tagging along for the ride.

I cannot begin to describe how AMAZING these five little girls were in the 21 hours I had them all. First, I was a little nervous for how everyone would sleep - the Foley girls didn't get to our house until around 8:15pm and were almost immediately changed into pj's and sent off to bed. It was a little after 9 by the time everyone was quiet (Molly proving to be the most rambunctious - she is SO not ready to share a room!), but I didn't hear another peep out of anyone until 7am this morning. I of course slept terribly, jumping at every odd noise or cough I heard, but I was happy I was the only one who woke up sleep-deprived this morning.

And the rest of the day was more of the same. I was really proud of Lillian and especially Marian, who is only 2 and therefore probably didn't understand at all what was going on. They went with the flow, eating different foods, following a different daytime schedule, sleeping in different places, and all with no complaint. They didn't bicker with each other or cry at the smallest thing or act out, which I would totally anticipate with kids who are experiencing such a huge life event. They played great and were kind and polite from the moment they came into my house until the moment they left. They were wonderful guests, and I would have them stay with me again anytime.

I was equally proud of my own kids. Because I was being very sensitive to what Lillian and Marian needed to feel safe and comfortable, my kids' needs were put on the back burner. I snuggled a lot with Marian because she is congested and was feeling puny on top of her environment being flipped upside down. I was a little nervous at how Molly would handle sharing me, but she never acted bothered in the slightest. Jocelyn and Ava were annoyed that I still made them go to school, and were so happy to help take care of their friends and have a sleepover and extra long playdate. They seemed to understand that their friends needed my attention a little more than them today, and were okay with sharing their Momma with their friends.

Amanda and Logan didn't find out if they were having a son or daughter until Catherine was placed into their arms. Now knowing they have joined the 3-Daughter Club (or Estrogen Hell, as Ben might refer to it), I couldn't be happier for this family. And I can't wait to meet Catherine and welcome her into our makeshift family. She is going to be a very lucky little girl to have such great examples in her big sisters, and hopefully my daughters, to guide her and show her the way.

Year 2

I'm ba-ack!! Ben asked me last night if I planned to continue my blog into the new year, and I couldn't think of a single reason not to but so many reasons I will.

Our year started off a little bumpy, I have to be honest. Everyone woke up in a bit of a funk, and there was quite a bit of bickering and whining all morning long. It seemed to wear off eventually, though, and the day overall was very nice. I cleaned up and put away all of our Christmas decorations and washed everyone's sheets - seemed a good way to start off a new year. Then we ended the night with dinner out at the Silver Diner. We ate good food none of us had to cook, and the kids made crafts and sang songs while playing musical instruments during the Family Fun Night. It was another great day to kick off what I hope will be another great year. Bring on 2013, the Sewards are ready for the fun year ahead!