The ceremony was beautiful, but it started off very rough for me. The first song we sang was "On Eagle's Wings." I thought, REALLY?? I have a hard time getting through that song normally, so at that point any hope I had of holding it together pretty well went out the window. There were many tears and sniffles throughout... but several smiles too. The minister was fantastic, reminding us we must celebrate Everett - the full life he had here on Earth and the peace and joy he can now have in heaven. The eulogies were wonderful. Nurses, doctors, and family members shared memories sweet and silly alike. The final planned eulogy was read by Natalie, Everett's 10-year-old big sister. She walked up to the mike and started with, "Just so you all know, sometimes I smile when I get nervous." Then she read a short but glorious tribute to how much she loved her brother and how she will see him again one day in heaven. It was so profound, so BRAVE. She was incredible.
Then the minister invited anyone else to come to the front to share stories they had of Ev. One of his cousins walked up to say something, but when she got up to the podium she froze and didn't want to speak. I had been thinking of this one memory on and off ever since I heard of Everett passing, and I saw this as God nudging me to share it with the Allans. So, slightly shaky, I walked myself to the front and asked this little girl if she wanted to stand with me while I talked, since I was scared too. She didn't, but as I said when I got up there, if Natalie could get up and speak so eloquently, I could certainly try.
The story I shared was this: at every competition and most days of dress rehearsals or recitals, the entire Allan family would be in attendance, including Everett. In a back corner of the auditorium there would be Everett's campout area. He would be out of his wheelchair and lying amid a sea of blankets and pillows. Usually there were at least two of three of our younger kids running around him playing while waiting to go on stage. Last year when my Molly was an infant, I was often back in that same corner, pacing with her to calm her down. I had fun watching both my baby and Everett jump at a loud song or turn their head at a flashing light. It will not seem quite right this year when our little cheerleader isn't lying in the back of every auditorium we perform at. He was a quiet yet constant presence, and he will be very missed.
I also thanked the Allans for sharing their son with us. The minister mentioned something that really struck me today. She was talking about how Heather and Scott never kept Everett locked up or hidden away from the world. They went to the park, took him shopping, and took trips to places like Texas, Florida, and Indiana. I remember sometimes seeing them with Everett and wondering how they managed it. Then I realized, they probably felt the same way I feel when people ask how I do it with three small children. You just DO it, because there's not another option. What kind of life would Ev had if he had never left their apartment? Sure it might have been easier, but a full life is worth the extra trouble.
Everett's journey on earth was very brief. And yet, I can say he touched my life profoundly. Thanks to Everett, I know to live and cherish the present rather than fear the future. I know that a face with glasses and tubes is no less beautiful. I know that quiet strength is the greatest strength of all. And I know that, while we may not always understand it, God has a plan and mission for each of us. Everett fulfilled his mission here on earth. He had a great impact on the many medical personnel who watched Ev defy the odds day after day, week after week. He touched so many girls and young women at the dance studio, who learned to be comfortable around him and love him for who he was. He taught all of us that we can show and know love without ever saying a word. The most amazing part of today's service: after my little 90-second spiel in which I was shaking the entire time, and after almost an hour of nonstop tears and sorrow, I returned to my seat with an indescribable PEACE. I spent the rest of the service in an almost eery calm. I know that Ev was showing off those new angel wings and flying around that church today easing spirits and continuing to spread the joy he blessed us all with his entire life.
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