Adventures in Grocery Shopping

This morning I ventured to the commissary with Jocelyn and Molly. As I've said before, grocery shopping itself is not something I enjoy, so taking children along makes it seem all the more daunting a task. We arrived in rain - not downpour but not drizzle either - with Molly whining about my choice of cart and Jocelyn still feeling the effects of her morning nebulizer treatment. I braced myself for what I was sure would be a less-than-wonderful experience.

What I was struck most by were the way others reacted to my daughters and I. I will be the first to call us a "circus" or "show," but in reality I do what I can to make sure my children are well-behaved and not bothering others around them. I pick my battles but am in no way negligent or even oblivious to what my kids are doing. Within the first 10 minutes inside the store, I met two people, a man and a woman, who empathized with me and encouraged me: "Been there, done that, know how you feel!" and "I know it's hard but you're doing great with them." It doesn't really make me feel better about how my kids are behaving, but I appreciate others reassuring me that my children are just that - CHILDREN - and to not stress about every little thing they do.

Then there was another woman, older and shopping by herself, who (of course) we crossed paths with every other aisle or so. Every time she tried to pass us - because we were CLEARLY not going fast enough - she would sigh loudly or roll her eyes or look disapprovingly at us. It was so discouraging! I just wanted to say to this woman, "I am trying my best here! I know my kids are not behaving perfectly - I'd give my middle child away for free at this point - but I'm doing what I can. She is four years old! She's going to dance in the aisle without looking where she's going, she's going to bounce in circles and talk nonstop. That's who she is and what she does. Not to mention she's on medication that's making her even more maddening. Cut me some slack!"

It was an interesting feeling leaving the store today. I did my best to hold on to the supportive encounters and let go the bitterness of one old lady. What I realized about myself today is that I like hearing the encouraging comments not because I need to hear them but because they validate me and the effort I am putting into parenting my daughters. By saying to me "keep up the good work" you are recognizing that I am in fact working hard. When my inner voice's response to the cranky lady echoed so many of the things I've heard from others, I knew that I know these things are true and therefore I don't need to hear them from other people. The supportive customers gave me the little boost I needed today to stand tall and know I did my best to survive grocery shopping with my four- and two-year-olds. It wasn't easy or pretty, but we got it done and are no worse off for it.