Dinner of Champions

Today I was EXHAUSTED. I don't know why, but the past few days must have caught up with me, because I was just running on empty all day long. By the time we had sat our 2 hours at the dance studio and were on the way home, I was completely stumped as to what to for dinner. I had originally thought of hot dogs with macaroni and cheese, but I knew the girls were too hungry to wait even long enough for a simple meal to cook. Meanwhile, I kept thinking how much I was craving a milkshake-type treat. So I decided, what the heck? And we had Dairy Queen for dinner tonight. Not as in we ate actual food from there, but as in Molly and Jocelyn had sundaes for dinner while Ava and I feasted on Blizzards. Was it nutricious in any way? No. But I satisfied my personal craving, got to be the cool mom for a whole 10 minutes or so, and in the end we all had happy and full bellies. Not a bad way to salvage the evening.

Morning Off

This morning I had every intention of dropping off Jocelyn at school and returning home to catch up on some chores. That plan was quickly derailed when Molly came and sat next to me on the couch while I was checking my email. When I moved to get up, she followed me to keep snuggling. So I ditched the notion of being productive and instead sat on the couch doing nothing but cuddle with my youngest daughter for almost an hour. I mean, the cleaning isn't going anywhere, but moments like these? They don't come along everyday, and I make sure to make the most of them.

A New Week

So last night, just after I had written my post, I was reading the book "The Jesuit Guide to (Almost) Anything." I came across a statement saying if you asked a Jesuit how to describe his spirituality he would most likely say to find God in all things. For some reason, this sentence stopped me completely in my tracks. When was the last time I consciously looked for God in my children? I have been so frustrated and upset with them recently that I forgot God ministers to me through my children each day; it is my responsibility to wake up and pay attention.

So today I did just that. When each of my daughters came into my bedroom after waking up, I thought of one thing I love about them. Jocelyn came in first, and immediately snuggled up to me and gave me a huge hug. I love that she is so giving of her affection and doesn't let anyone doubt how much they are loved. Molly woke up next, and when I got her out of her crib she put her face about 3 inches from mine and gave me a grin so big she couldn't open her eyes. This big smile is a new thing for her, and she uses it when she thinks she's getting in trouble, when she's done something she's really proud of, or just when she catches my eye at any random moment. I love that she is learning her smile can brighten someone's day and using this knowledge. Ava woke up last. My love for her today came from all the help she gave me. She has asked to start earning an allowance, and is really starting to get into helping out arpund the house. She is maturing beautifully, and I couldn't be more proud.

Today was still not perfect by any means. However, my perspective changed, which therefore improved my coping mechanisms. I enjoyed my day, and felt it was a terrific start to a fresh new week.

Healing Laughter

I wish I could explain why this week has been so difficult. To be perfectly honest, I am tired of complaining about how my kids have driven me crazy, or wondering if I could make it through the day in one sane piece. Each night I've gone to bed thinking, Okay, so today sort of sucked, but tomorrow's bound to be better. And then it's just more of the same. Today was just like the past few - the girls whining at every thing I said that wasn't exactly what they wanted to hear, and me feeling like all I do is talk to little people who don't actually listen to anything I say.

Today's silver lining: my girls laughing together. There were several moments today when the girls played together and were not bickering or bosssing. My prime example: I had dished put the girls' dinners and then run upstairs. As I came back down the stairs, I heard all three girls giggling hysterically. Turned out they were laughing at someone's burp or something equally inappropriate. But after another stressful day, I chose to just be content with that happy moment between my girls. Sometimes manners and appropriateness can take the back seat to a moment of joy and laughter.

Random Act of Kindness

We got home this evening from our long dance night at about 7pm. Everyone was tired, including me, but I was trying to squeeze in a few little chores before calling it a night. I remembered that today had been a recycling day and I hadn't brought the can back from the edge of the driveway yet. I walked to the door and looked out my window at the end of mt driveway... only to find my bin was not there. I looked next to the side of the house where we keep our bins, and there it was. Someone, presumably one of my neighbors, had grabbed my recycling bin and rolled it up my driveway for me. I am sure it was no big deal, something that took only a few seconds out of someone's day. But it was one less thing for me to worry about. This little act of kindness brightened my evening, and I am so thankful to whoever the kind person was that helped me out.

Kindergarten Cuties

This morning I had the opportunity to attend an all-school meeting at Ava's elementary school. I went because as part of the assembly Ava's class got up and did a rhyming chant of sorts, called The Name Game. They were SO cute! No one appeared to have stage fright of any kind. They all got up in a line, sang the chorus and did their individual part when it was their turn. I was standing next to a mom of one of Ava's classmates, and she commented on what a special group this kindergarten class is. And I agree - every week I go into their class these kids are all smiling. They just seem to love life, every one of them. I feel so blessed that Ava has been a part of this class this year, and I can't wait to see all of these little cuties grow up in the years to come.

Little Buns Part II

It seems that while last night was Jocelyn's bad night, tonight it was Ava's turn to struggle a bit. Between getting mad at anyone who uttered a single word while she was trying to watch a movie in our LIVING ROOM, whining and fighting me on every response I gave her that wasn't exactly what she wanted to hear, and finally breaking the cardinal rule and sucking her thumb, it was not a great night to be Ava.

Ever the Giver, God provided me with a healthy dose of comic relief throughout the evening. Molly had managed to spill applesauce all over her shirt at dinner this evening; add to that our continuing potty training, and Molly spent the hour-and-a-half or so between dinner and bedtime without a stitch of clothing on. She played with her toys, danced with Jocelyn, and ran all over the house grinning ridiculously. As tough and stressful as dealing with Ava was, it was pretty hard to be upset with my naked two-year-old grinning at me like a loon and hugging me tightly. My night wasn't easy, but I'll take the good and try my best to forget all about the bad.

Momma's Helper

This evening was rough. To be fair, the girls were really good most of the day. Molly didn't nap and we had one of our long evenings at the dance studio, and they handled all that well. But as soon as we got home everyone seemed to lose their minds. I was especially struggling with Jocelyn, to the point that as soon as the girls got out of the bath I was putting Jocie straight to bed. The kink in this plan: there are two other children I need to care for. I dug out a simple board book and handed it to Ava, asking her to read it to Molly while I put Jocie to bed. When I returned to Molly's room a few minutes later, I walked in to find Ava and Molly sharing the rocker looking at a book and naming the animals on each page. Apparently Ava had read not one but two books to Molly and was now keeping her occupied with the animals. I try very hard not to ask my children to do my job of taking care of their siblings, but tonight I was very grateful that Ava is both old enough to read to her sister and caring enough to do so happily.

Minivan Momma

Mondays are the longest day of the week for us. The basic schedule is: drop Jocelyn at school at 9am, pick her up at noon, pick Ava up at school at 1:15pm, take Ava to religious education class at 4:30pm, pick her up at 6:05pm. As you can see, not only am I constantly getting in and out of the car, but often there is only a 30 minute stretch between unloading kids and reloading them for the next trip out.

My bit of comfort on days such as this: my new minivan. Last month for financial and logistical reasons we traded in my SUV for a Toyota Sienna. I was glad to be gaining the extra space and all, but I never imagined how much I would LOVE having this van. Molly couldn't climb in to the old car, but this one she can get into no problem. There is enough space between seats for the girls to get to either door with easily. They can get into the third row without climbing over and dirtying the middle seat. I still do not enjoy spending so much of my day in the car, but the ease of loading and unloading the kids and their stuff certainly makes it more enjoyable. I am officially a minivan mom, and I couldn't be happier about it.

Little Buns

We are still emersed in (very successful) potty training with Molly. However, as I am not ready to present her the challenge of pulling down pants or underwear, she has been running around pantsless in our house for almost a week now. This afternoon I looked at her and realized: life is WAY more entertaining with a tiny pair of naked toddler buns running through the house. It's hard to take Molly's angry or upset face too seriously when I know there is nothing under her tunic shirt (I am trying to keep her at least a little modest). It was of those it's-the-little-things-in-life days, and each time I think of that little tush streaking through my house it makes me grin from ear to ear.

Epilepsy Walk

This morning I took all three girls and attended the Epilepsy Walk on the National Mall. We had to leave our house by 6:30am to meet our group. We walked with friends from the studio in support of Victoria Olszowy and Molly Allan, two of our dance friends who suffer from epilepsy. The girls did great (riding in strollers and on my back) and we all had a great time. There are not too many people I would drag my kids out of the house so early for, but these two young ladies are at the top of that list. We love them dearly and I am so glad we had the opportunity to support them in this special way today. Despite exhaustion and soreness, it was a great way to start our weekend.

Big Hugs

This morning Ben, Molly, and I went to run a few errands before picking Jocelyn up at preschool. When we got to the school Ben went inside to get Jocie while Molly and I waited in the car. A few minutes later, I see Ben walking back to the car carrying Jocelyn in his arms, her head buried in his neck. At first I thought she was upset, that maybe she had had a bad day at school and she was sad she had gotten in trouble. But as they got closer to the car I could see that she was not upset. Instead, she was so excited to have her daddy pick her up from school she was simply trying to hug him as tightly as she possibly could. Jocelyn has enjoyed all of the special time she has gotten to spend with Ben, and I have enjoyed moments like these when she is so happy she is physically incapable of containing her glee.

Good Times

This evening we went over to the Foley's house for dinner. It was just another dinner together - the kids ran around playing and the adults conversed as much as we could in between the constant interruptions that come with having six girls age 6 and younger. It was a great evening for the simple fact that it seems like it has been forever since we've had a quiet dinner together with friends. On Easter we saw several families, which is nice as well but certainly more chaotic. And these days with afternoon and evening activities and weekends full of on event after another, I find weeks can fly by and I haven't actually SEEN friends who I used to get together with multiple times a week. I still talk to people on the phone daily and try to get together at least once a week, but it seems it's always a rushed visit in between commitments and I don't get to fully relax and enjoy the time. Tonight we had nothing to do but get the kids home in time to get a good night's sleep. We accomplished that as well as have a fantastic evening, so I'd say our mission was accomplished.

The Wonderful World of Jocie Rose

Today was a silly Jocelyn day. It seemed even more than normal she would bound into a room for the sole purpose of running up to someone for a hug. She skipped and ran through the house with her crazy curls bouncing up a storm. This evening I recorded her talking for a few minutes. We are having her speech analyzed by someone with the county school system and the speech pathologist had asked me to make a sample of her talking. I thought I would share it here, not to highlight her speech but what she talks about, the energy she has the spirit she shares with the world. She is still our Texas tornado, and I could not love her more if I tried.

Not a Baby Anymore

Molly has had this persistent rash on her rear end for quite a while now. It seems like it gets a little better or worse but never completely goes away. Yesterday I finally called the pediatrician, thinking they would want to see her to prescribe some kind of cream and send me on my way. Instead, the triage nurse just told me to keep her out of her diaper as much as possible (along with a few other suggestions) and see if it would go away on its own.

Thus began some spur-of-the-moment potty training. I thought, if I'm expecting her to go a while without a diaper, I might as well at least try to teach her how not to pee all over my house. I cannot begin to describe how much I was DREADING today. Molly will still poop in her diaper and not say anything, only getting it changed when I discover it. It doesn't seem to bother her to be wet. These in my mind are big indications of being ready to potty train, and if she is not ready I would much rather clean a mess contained in a diaper than all over my floor.

Ready for this? In the first hour or so that Molly didn't have her diaper on, she has one major accident (peeing all over the beach towel I had set up in my living room) and two small ones. After both of the small ones, she peed a little on the floor, then ran to her potty chair and finished on the potty. I did what I've done with both the other girls and made a huge deal of her being a big girl and rewarding pee in the potty with a jelly bean (thank you leftover Easter candy). Those three incidents were the ONLY ones. All. Day. Long. By the end of the morning I was no longer asking her if she needed to sit on the potty. She was playing all over the living room area, because when she had to she would stop whatever she was doing to go and pee in her potty. She even pooped in the potty - twice! Any parent who's ever potty-trained a child can appreciate how astounded I am at the end of today. I honestly didn't plan on this being the beginning of permanent potty training - I thought it would be a temporary thing until her hind end cleared up. But once again Molly has blown me away with how quickly she learns skills. I am not dumb enough to think this transition will be this easy from here on out, but I love Molly for being such a trooper and taking this big developmental step like the champ that she continues to show me that she is.

Nature Lovers

The girls and Ben came home from their camping adventure this morning around 9:30am, all smiles. They seemed to have played, eaten, slept, and enjoyed each other's company. What amazed me the most: after being home for about 10 minutes Ava and Jocelyn were asking (borderline begging) to play outside. How those girls didn't want to plop on the couch and veg for the rest of the day is beyond me. They stayed outside until I dragged them in for a late lunch and finally some quiet time. I may not understand it, but I am glad that they are outdoorsy kids and finally have some great weather to enjoy their time outside.

Mommy-Molly Time

My happy thought is once again a bit of a two-fold thought. This evening Ben has taken Ava and Jocelyn on a mini camping excursion. They are just going for tonight to a campground about 30 minutes from our house. All three of them were SO excited. They have been talking about it for days and anticipating leaving ever since they woke up this morning. I am not a camper - I am grateful I live in an era with air conditioning, indoor plumbing, and all the other conveniences of living in a home. Ben, on the other hand, loves camping and has been anxious to share this with his kids. I am excited for the three of them to have this adventure together, and hope that it is a positive and fun bonding experience for them all.

Meanwhile, Molly and I stayed home to have some time just the two of us. We had a very nice afternoon and evening. We began our time with a walk through the neighborhood. We looked at and named the different colored flowers. I asked her to leave the flowers in the ground, so instead Molly found leaves periodically to collect. Then she would lie flat on her stomach in the middle of the sidewalk to watch ants crawling along in the cracks. When we finally got back to our house Molly drew with chalk in the driveway while I cooked dinner; then we feasted on macaroni and cheese and broccoli, as per Molly's request. Molly got an early bath and then settled in with me to watch The Lion King before calling it a night. At the beginning of the afternoon I was feeling very guilty for not having special planned for our time together. But in the end I decided that togetherness made the evening special enough. We had a great time and will be very excited to reunite with the rest of our family in the morning.

My Personal Christmas in July

I have never understood the whole "Christmas in July" concept. Christmas is a special time of year, and much anticipated by me as others I'm sure, but why on earth can people not handle waiting an entire year until the next one rolls around? Why must some people celebrate even in a small way halfway through the year?

This afternoon I watched the Texas A&M football team's spring scrimmage, the Maroon and White game. And for the first time I understood where all of those Christmas in July observers were coming from. I hadn't realized just how much I have missed college football. Ever since I heard a few days ago that ESPN would be televising the game I have been anxiously awaiting it like...well, like Christmas. I turned on the TV at 2:50pm to be ready for the 3pm kickoff. The game wasn't anything special - it's just a scrimmage, after all - but I sat for 2 full hours and listened to Chris Fowler and Kirk Herbstreit talk nothing but A&M football. I was in HEAVEN. I got my little taste of college football for the spring, and just can't wait for the fall when college football comes back in full force. Then it will truly be Christmas for this little sports fan.

Time to Talk

This evening was a dance night for Ava. I decided rather than to leave and return an hour or so later to pick her up that I would just wait in the lobby. In addition to me there were a few other moms sitting waiting for their daughters as well. We ended up sitting and chatting for the entire time we were waiting. These are women that I know from times like this, running into each other at the studio or at dance events. I like them a lot, but our relationships tend to be more superficial since we are usually surrounded by our kids and the chaos of the studio. Tonight was a quiet night, and I felt like I had some really great conversations with these great women. I left feeling rejuvenated from the quality adult conversation with these wonderful ladies. I hope there are many more opportunities to get to know these people much better.

Date Night

Tonight Ben and I had a very special date night. Our friend from church Katy came to our house to watch the girls. Then, Ben and I drove to Katy's house, where her husband Chris and son Steven cooked us dinner. Now, to complete the picture: when we walked in, on the table was a full china place setting for the two of us. I am not a foodie and therefore will not do this justice, but we had cheese and spinach dip for an appetizer, a salad with a blueberry vinagrette dressing, then a main course of T-bone steaks, fresh green beans and rice pilaf. Our meal ended with Swedish cream topped with homemade jam. I am 99% confident when I say it was by far the best meal I have ever eaten. I did not know the true meaning of food coma before tonight - I literally came home, vegged on the couch for 45 minutes or so, then came upstairs to change clothes and climb into bed by 9:30pm.

I was struck by two things this evening: first, I realized there is something to be said for dining IN. There wasn't the noise and bustle of a restaurant; I didn't feel rushed or that I was wasting some poor waiter's time. Ben and I just sat, completely relaxed, and enjoyed each other's company. Which brings me to my next point, the selfless service we were blessed with this evening. Katy watched our kids; Steven, a high school junior by the way, spent his time after school preparing this feast for us; and Chris grilled the steaks, served us our food, and cleaned up after us. We asked for none of this - it was all given to us freely and with nothing expected in return. I am so humbled to be the recipient of such selfless acts of love and service. I only hope that one day I can make someone else feel as blessed and special as I was made to feel tonight.

Eager to Learn

Tonight was CETA Night at Ava's elementary school. CETA stands for Changing Education Through the Arts. It is a program with the Kennedy Center of the Arts that Ava's school is involved in in which the teachers learn different approaches to teaching that involve artistic expression such as poetry, movement, and music. This evening we saw how the Kindergarteners have learned to write poetry through a series of steps. As usual, my children tried to steal the show. All three girls sat very well and listened to what the teachers were saying. When it was time to participate, I honestly think Jocie was called on more than any other child there. She wanted SO badly to be called on and share something - anything - with the group. Ben shrunk back with each response, and I tried my best not to intervene (as no one else seemed to mind terribly). I sometimes wish my kids were a TEENY bit more introverted or quiet, but I love their energy and excitement, especially when it's related to school. I will encourage their love for learning for as long as I possibly can.

the girls taking in the lesson

our view for most of the evening - Jocelyn with her hand in the air, waiting to be called on

Field Trip Day

This morning Ava's class went on a field trip to the National Building Museum in DC. Ben was able to go as a chaperone. Because of this, Ava woke up earlier and more excited than on Christmas morning. She has been waiting for this day for almost a week now. She wanted to wear her prettiest outfit, eat a great breakfast, and have everything perfect for her special morning with her dad. Even though I wasn't actually there for the field trip, it was still the highlight of my day to see these two walk out the door to embark on their own little adventure. Who knows how many opportunities Ben will have to participate in these kind of school functions. Today was a very special day, one I know Ava will not soon forget.

Family Fun

This evening was silly chaos in the Seward house. Just before 7pm Ava and Jocelyn asked Ben if they could tackle. I think he hesitated slightly, then said, "Sure, why not?" And boy did they tackle! I was upstairs doing some cleaning, and finally decided to come down to the living room and see how everyone was doing. Molly came over to the chair and sat with me. The two of us had our own fun of tickling, yelling, and being silly while the older two tried to overtake their Daddy. There was squealing, laughing, occasional crying (mainly as a means to get out of whatever hold Ben had them in). I think all of our ears were ringing by the time the girls headed upstairs for bathtime. It was a very loud but very fun time, another one of those occasions that was not a significant event but special just because we were all having fun and laughing together. I can't think of a better way to start off the week.

Signs of Spring

Today was one of the first truly warm days since before winter. And we took full advantage: Ben took the older two girls on a walk to a local park for a picnic lunch, and when they got home (and we woke up from naps) Molly and I joined them outside for some bike riding and chalk art. I am not an outdoorsy person, and haven't really missed going outside. But I know the rest of my family has, and after today even I am excited for many more nice days spent outside in the fresh air.

Molly ready to head outside, with her sunglasses and "Daisy Duck ponytail"

apparently chalk drawing is a full-body activity

Jocelyn wrote her entire name all by herself - the first time I've seen her do it! (proud Momma moment)

Impromptu Morning Hangout

This morning I took Ava to a birthday party for one of her classmates. His party was at a local movie theater, and was scheduled to go from 9am to 11:30am. I had planned that, since the party would be so long, I would drop Ava off, run a few errands, and come back when the party was almost over. When we arrived, however, I noticed that NONE of the parents were leaving. I finally asked the birthday boy's mom if she wanted us to stay or go; she said that while she had planned for parents to stay if we wanted to leave we were more than welcome to. I inferred my own conclusions and sighed inwardly as I saw my productive morning going down the tubes.

What I hadn't realized was that I would gain a nice mini movie date with my oldest child. The kids had a blast running all over the theater trying to find the "perfect" seats, but while Ava started off watching the movie in front of me with one of her friends, she ended up sitting next to me for the second half of the show. The movie wasn't awful - I wouldn't have paid to see it myself but it wasn't that bad. Before we had gone in to the theater some one had asked the last time I saw a movie in a theater. I honest to goodness cannot remember. I have never been a big movie person, and it is so expensive now even for kids that I don't feel it's worth it. But my movie morning with Ava has made me reevaluate my views. I'm not going to start frequenting movies all the time now, but maybe splurging every now and then is worth the quality time I get to spend with someone I love.

Careful What You Wish For

I am not a morning person. Never have been. Give me 15 to 30 minutes after waking up (hopefully at or after 7am) and I am a completely pleasant person to be around. Less than that, and my responses are generally grunts with my eyes half-open. My husband and oldest daughter are the exact opposite. These sick people (and I say that with the love of a wife and mother) are able to wake up and seconds later be off the block ready to tackle the day. I think Jocelyn and Molly take after me a little more, but even still I often find myself wishing my family could savor waking up and do so slowly the way I would like to.

This morning I got my wish - sort of. Somehow, EVERYONE woke up on the wrong side of the bed. To be fair, I think Ben was not in a terribly bad mood. But all three girls were just plain grumpy this morning. "Don't touch me!" "Leave the TV alone, I'm still watching it!" "Get away from me!" And on and on it went. And while there was a teeny part of me that was glad not to have to deal with what I often find to be obnoxious cheeriness first thing in the morning, I realized that having a house full of grumpy non-morning people is not exactly an ideal situation either. I am not sure I will ever be able to FULLY appreciate the morning people in my family, but I certainly appreciate that there are as many or more of them than me, and that we can balance each other out in those first few moments of the day.

Not So Left Out

Jocelyn got a board game as one of her birthday gifts this year, and this afternoon she and Ava were trying to play it. Molly wanted so badly to be included, but she had no desire to follow any instructions or actually play other than her own way. So to avoid massive conniptions I took Molly upstairs to her bedroom to play. We rolled a ball back and forth to each other. I made her laugh HYSTERICALLY by throwing her Elmo up into the air and catching him (no idea why this was so funny). We each got a Pillow Pet and pretended to nap on the floor. By the time the older two had finished their game Molly no longer even remembered she had been left out of anything. She was having fun of her own, and her Momma was having a pretty good time, too.

Art time

This morning the girls were watching a little TV before we all began to get ready for the day. I'm not sure what was on (I was only half awake) but it had something to do with painting, and from that point on Molly kept saying, "I wanna paint!" And for once, instead of telling her I didn't have time or maybe later, I got out the paper and finger paints and let her express her artistic self. She painted for a half hour or so and was quite pleased with herself. It seems so rare that I take the time to do these kinds of things with my children. It was nice to take this time this morning to watch Molly's inner artist emerge.

ALL the Time

Today was a really good day. Things are starting to look up, and while I am cautiously optimistic I am optimistic nonetheless. Oftentimes if something goes the way I want it to - I find something I've been searching for, or something goes the way I hoped it would - I find myself thanking God. And as soon as I do that, I repeat the saying, "God is good all the time, and all the time God is good." We used to say that as a way of quieting a group down in school or church gatherings. The leader would say, "God is good!" and everyone would respond, "All the time!" Then the leader said, "And all the time!" with the group responding, "God is good!" I now repeat these words to myself as a way of remembering that God is so good each and every minute of the day. I recognize it and am thankful for it when things go the way I want them to. But God is always good ALL of the time. I pray that the good times keep coming, but I will always remember that God is not good because good things happen; rather, good things happen because God is so very good.

April Fool

Today it seems I was the unfortunate victim of April Fool's Day just by simply being a fool. I got the kids ready to go back to school after a week off. I dropped Ava off at the neighbor's and drove Jocie to preschool. As I approached the school, my first thought was that there were not very many cars in the parking lot. It took another second or two to realize that there was ONE car in the entire lot. There was no school for Jocie today. I kept trying to remember if I ever knew that she dodn't have school today, if maybe my forgetful brain had blocked it out. I honestly don't have any idea. Jocelyn was of course disappointed, but we managed to make it a good day anyway.

I have to say that the best part of all of this is that I coped. I mean REALLY dealt with the situation like a rational adult. I had goofed, and there was nothing I could do other than sigh, roll my eyes, and laugh at myself. I didn't get irrationally frustrated or want to burst into tears, as has been my tendency of late. I am grateful for baby steps in the right direction. I can always expect these curveballs in my everyday life, and I feel better knowing I am able to once again handle them.