Tears of Healing

Well, today did not start off well. At all. I woke up still feeling pretty sick, with a swollen eye and achy body. But it's Sunday, which means Mass. I decided I'd try to suck it up and make a go at attending Mass with the family. Boy what a HORRIBLE idea that was. All 3 girls were pretty miserable and did not behave well. But the biggest problem was me - I did not have the patience to deal with my children. I was tired and sick, and thus did not make for an understanding Momma. During the consecration I literally had all 3 kids trying to get my attention. (Let it be known that Ben was helping as much as he could, but like most kids mine feel they must always go to Momma first.) I finally snapped - I grabbed Molly (who needed to be taken to the back anyway) and went to the bathroom, where I proceeded to let myself cry for about a minute. Feeling I could pull myself together for the end of Mass, I returned to my family to finish things up, but I cried all the way home, and probably for a solid 15 minutes or so once we got in the house.

I have been trying so hard the last week or so to be Superwoman - taking care of sick kiddos, doing the usual house cleaning, and keeping myself healthy. I am usually pretty good at keeping my head above water, but today I had to let go and let myself have a good cry. The nice thing was, it helped me a lot! I think the crying flushed some of the gunk out of my eye, and now it's feeling a little better. But more importantly I cried all the bad emotions out of my system. I'm no longer bitter and upset for my children not behaving exactly as I think they should. I'm not embarrassed, disappointed, or depressed. I do not consider myself to be an overly emotional person, but I have learned to accept and even embrace these occasional cleansing cries. I've wiped the slate clean, and despite a VERY rocky start that's a nice way to start off the week.