Promises, Promises

Today is Ash Wednesday, the beginning of Lent. I have been struggling to come up with what I was going to do this Lent. I know many people give things up; I am not one of those people, really. I used to give things up in high school and college, but found every year that rather than lifting up the sacrifice as a form of prayer I would just become resentful and bitter for 40 days because I couldn't have something I really wanted. I prefer to find an area (or areas) in my life that I can work on to bring myself closer to God. Most years I can decide on something fairly easily, but this year I've really been stumped. I choose my Lenten promises carefully, and hadn't felt drawn to anything specifically.

I finally decided my main Lenten promise is to work on my temper. I feel like I yell at my kids A LOT. To be fair, it's not like I just yell at them for no reason - they're kids, and therefore get into trouble or break the rules and need to be punished. But I have always had a short fuse, and it seems to have gotten particularly bad in recent months. Maybe it's the Italian in me; maybe it's the lack of sleep and privacy; whatever it is, I raise my voice much more than I am okay with. So I am working on breathing more and finding more creative ways to get my points across to my kids. As a smaller thing, I am going to "give up" swearing. I have done this one in the past and it is not difficult in the way giving up food or other indulgences are difficult, but I feel it pushes me to be more articulate and intelligent in what I say. I'm going to do some kind of monetary penalty for anytime I slip up, but haven't figured out exactly what yet. I share all this as a way of holding myself accountable, so hopefully I can use these 40 days as a starting point for improving my life.

My truly proud moment of the day came from sharing all this with Ava. She is old enough to understand Lent and sacrifice at least on some level, so this afternoon I explained to her about Ash Wednesday, Lent, and how some people give things up as a form of prayer. I asked her if she might like to try giving something up. At first she thought of ice cream, which would have been a very small sacrifice (we eat ice cream MAYBE once a month) but would have gotten the point across. But later she changed her mind and decided to give up juice boxes. My kids get one Capri Sun Roarin' Waters every day. It's become a sort of staple in their daily food consumption, and therefore will be a much bigger thing for Ava to give up. I reiterated to her that this is not something that she can change her mind on in a few days when she is tired of not having what she wants. She said she understands, and is still willing to stick with it. I greatly admire her spirit, and cannot wait to share this Lenten season with her in this way, and see her relationship with God grow during this special time.