Molly time

On my Leap Day I got to spend a little time one-on-one with Molly. Ben took the older two to Target for some strange unexplained reason ;) So I spent about an hour and a half bathing, playing, and cuddling with my youngest daughter. She took full advantage of my undivided attention, testing my patience and having a ball. Now that there are three of them, I feel like I rarely get to spend time with any of my kids one at a time. I actually have Molly on her own the most, since she and I hang two mornings a week while Ava and Jocie are in school. But tonight was different - I didn't focus on all the chores that had to be done. Instead I focused on miss Molly, and what a frustrating, fun little ball of energy she is growing up to be.

cheesing between splashing and throwing toys out of the tub

running away from getting dressed after bath

taking a minute to cuddle :)

Little Piggies

Today Jocelyn wore pigtails in her hair for exactly the second time in her life. Her hair is finally getting long enough that the front needs to be pulled out of her face. On Sunday I suggested putting a clip in her hair, and she said, "Actually, I'd like ponytails." Well you better believe I ran and got the supplies before she had time to change her mind! This morning took a little more cajoling, but I finally convinced her to wear her pigtails for her teachers and friends at school. Once Ava saw me putting pigtails in Jocie's hair, she requested pigtails too so they could "be twins." Every time I looked at my pigtailed girlies today it brought a humongous grin to my face. They may be growing up fast, but they are still my cutie pie little girls :)

Nap Battles

Quiet time is a few hours each afternoon that I pretty much consider sacred. As Ava outgrew actually sleeping "naptime" quickly became "quiet time" in which she can read books, do artwork, even watch a movie if it means I get my hour or two of peace and quiet kid-free time. Suddenly the last 4 days or so Jocelyn is beginning to not sleep during her quiet time. Ava took naps until right around 4 years old (as I recall). Add to that my belief that Jocelyn is not as disciplined as Ava was, and I'm dreading the possibility that she is outgrowing her naps. Finally, Molly is transitioning from 2 naps a day to 1. Sometimes this means she gets a great 2 1/2-hour nap, other times I miss my window and she gets barely 1 hour of napping in for the day (not nearly enough for this 14 month old).

As Molly began waking up just after 2pm this afternoon, I stalled as long as I felt I could to go get her. Feeling slightly bitter at having my me-time cut short yet again, I came upon the scene that I recorded below. Because the room is dimly lit you can't see anything, so let me paint the picture for you: Molly was sitting in the corner of her crib reading a board book that I left in the bed with her when she went down. It's The Big Red Barn, which if you've never read it does in fact have its pages filled with different farm animals. The pauses of silence are her turning the pages. The sounds she's making are on some level animal noises, which she made as she pointed to whatever animal was on the page she was looking at. And while the video is less than a minute, she sat there reading to herself for at least 5 minutes before I went in to get her.

Listening to Molly wake up happily from her nap and entertain herself until I came to get her made my less-than-perfect quiet time for the day much more bearable. I am trying to remember to stop being bitter for not having enough, and rather being content with what I have, even if that means only 45 minutes each day to myself. I mean, really - one of these days NONE of them will be napping in the afternoons, and then I'll really be in trouble!

Foley fun

Today we went to the birthday party of one miss Lillian Foley. Lillian is 5 days younger than Jocelyn. We first started hanging out with Lillian and her mom when Amanda and I were both pregnant with our youngests (Lillian's little sister Marian is actually only 7 days younger than Molly). Amanda and I got to be pretty good friends, and shortly after the babies were born we allowed the husbands to join in on the fun. One of the first times, if not THE first time, we had all 4 Foleys to the house was just before Jocie and Lillian turned 2. Ava, Jocelyn, and Lillian were playing in our basement and we adults were enjoying some uninterrupted conversation while babies slept. Suddenly Ava comes up the stairs and says, "Jocelyn bit Lillian!" None of us heard any crying and sort of shrugged it off. About 10 seconds later, the screaming started, and Lillian came sobbing up the stairs with this AWFUL bite mark just under one of her eyes. Jocelyn managed not to break the skin but rather bruised this poor child's cheek with her teeth! Both parents were very understanding, but I would have totally understood if that was the beginning of the end of our relationship with the Foleys.

A year later I am so very happy to say that was not the end of our friendship. Jocelyn and Lillian have had a rocky friendship for sure - there were many playdates with little more than fighting and crying between the two girls. Somehow in the last few months, however, it seems the two have made peace and actually love playing together. Now when they disappear I don't fear for Lillian's physical well-being. They share a love for princesses and all things girly, something both Amanda and I constantly shake our heads about in wonder. The two girls are as different as night and day: Jocelyn's height and weight off the charts big, Lillian's off the charts small. Lillian is so gentle and timid almost, very unlike my Texas Tornado. Today when we got to the party Jocelyn immediately found Lillian, ran up to her and gave her a big hug. Lillian is one of Jocelyn's first real friends, and I am so grateful we all have all the Foleys in our lives. I was so glad to spend today celebrating Lillian and the joy she brings to her family and many friends.

Yesterday

As weird as it sounds, much of today was spent being grateful for yesterday. You know how I said my kids were absolutely wonderful all day yesterday? Yeah, well today... not so much. Today was the day I expected to have yesterday - children pushing buttons of mine I didn't even know existed; Ava throwing attitude any teenager would envy; Jocelyn exercising her lung capacity by screaming at the top of her lungs; and Molly finding a way to get into every possible thing she KNOWS she's not allowed in. I will admit in full disclosure that I did have to yell at my kids two or three times today. However, I am proud to say it was not yelling out of anger or frustration. Don't get me wrong, I was plenty angry and frustrated, but that was not the cause of the yelling. I simply had to raise my voice as the only means of getting my children's attention. THAT is how far gone they got at times. Jocelyn took no nap, and Molly only slept for a total of 1 hour all day. Needless to say, I was very ready for bedtime to come so I could enjoy at least a few minutes of silence. The one thought that got me through the day was this: the girls were SO good yesterday, they were SO good yesterday. I was very grateful that they gifted me with an extraordinary day yesterday to help me get through today. I remember the saying you never know how good the good is unless you have less than good to compare it to. Well today I had me some major less-than-good, but was able to handle it thanks to a few fond memories of yesterday, and a prayer or two that we will have a much better tomorrow.

A Plan-B Day

I was a little nervous about how today was going to turn out. We had a pretty rough start to it, beginning at 2am when I was up with Ava for over an hour. She threw up in her bed not once but TWICE. And not just a little, or in one spot. I'm pretty sure she was lying on her back both times, as she had vomit on her front AND back, including her hair. Two showers and bed linen changes later, the rest of the night's sleep was pretty well shot. My Momma-hearing perked up at every cough or sound coming from the girls' bedrooms. 7am reared its ugly head and I wasn't sure how we were going to make it through the day in one piece.

So we quickly settled into what I would call a "survival" day. There was no objective other than for all four of us to make it through the day intact. Ava stayed home from school and dance, so literally the only time I went outside my house was to retrieve the garbage and recycling bins from the end of the driveway. That being said, the day really was a very good one. Ava spent the day in our downstairs den watching movies and staying hydrated. It didn't take long for her appetite to return, but we played it safe with toast, applesauce, and mashed potatoes. My healthy girls had a nice day too. Jocelyn spent much of her time coloring and practicing letters and numbers on Ava's Leapster. (I'm not sure how much she understands, but I'd bet she's picking a thing or two up along the way.) Molly played with her toys and "helped" me fold the extra loads of laundry I had from last night's fiasco. All three girls took LONG naps, but went down for the night peacefully and without (much) fuss.

We did not play by many of our usual rules today. There was at least one TV on almost all day long. Ava ate and drank downstairs on the couch. Dinner was boxed Mac and Cheese for those of us not on the "BRAT diet." But as I sat down after the girls had gone to bed, I could not recall any tough moments. Usually a day indoors together means major cabin fever and driving each other up the walls. Today it seemed everyone understood that we were doing what needed to be done to make it through the day, no more and no less. I am so thankful that my girls and I were all on the same page today, and could make this unplanned day in a nice one.

Birthday Hats and Cheese

Today was a fun Jocelyn day. She (and 3 of her classmates) had a birthday celebration at school. They had a special snack, sang the birthday song, and each of the birthday kids got a birthday crown. Jocelyn was SO excited about her crown! My daughter who refuses to even let me put a clip in her hair wore this silly crown almost the entire day. Here are just a few pictures for your viewing pleasure:

leaving school wearing the birthday crown

cool kid on the ride home

playing Ava's Leapster after dinner, STILL wearing the crown

When this last picture was taken, Molly noticed the camera flash and turned around. Upon seeing the camera, she immediately started "cheesing." She has just picked up this trick over the weekend, and it is one of the cutest darned things ever. I leave you tonight with this image, and dare you to try not to smile back:

Promises, Promises

Today is Ash Wednesday, the beginning of Lent. I have been struggling to come up with what I was going to do this Lent. I know many people give things up; I am not one of those people, really. I used to give things up in high school and college, but found every year that rather than lifting up the sacrifice as a form of prayer I would just become resentful and bitter for 40 days because I couldn't have something I really wanted. I prefer to find an area (or areas) in my life that I can work on to bring myself closer to God. Most years I can decide on something fairly easily, but this year I've really been stumped. I choose my Lenten promises carefully, and hadn't felt drawn to anything specifically.

I finally decided my main Lenten promise is to work on my temper. I feel like I yell at my kids A LOT. To be fair, it's not like I just yell at them for no reason - they're kids, and therefore get into trouble or break the rules and need to be punished. But I have always had a short fuse, and it seems to have gotten particularly bad in recent months. Maybe it's the Italian in me; maybe it's the lack of sleep and privacy; whatever it is, I raise my voice much more than I am okay with. So I am working on breathing more and finding more creative ways to get my points across to my kids. As a smaller thing, I am going to "give up" swearing. I have done this one in the past and it is not difficult in the way giving up food or other indulgences are difficult, but I feel it pushes me to be more articulate and intelligent in what I say. I'm going to do some kind of monetary penalty for anytime I slip up, but haven't figured out exactly what yet. I share all this as a way of holding myself accountable, so hopefully I can use these 40 days as a starting point for improving my life.

My truly proud moment of the day came from sharing all this with Ava. She is old enough to understand Lent and sacrifice at least on some level, so this afternoon I explained to her about Ash Wednesday, Lent, and how some people give things up as a form of prayer. I asked her if she might like to try giving something up. At first she thought of ice cream, which would have been a very small sacrifice (we eat ice cream MAYBE once a month) but would have gotten the point across. But later she changed her mind and decided to give up juice boxes. My kids get one Capri Sun Roarin' Waters every day. It's become a sort of staple in their daily food consumption, and therefore will be a much bigger thing for Ava to give up. I reiterated to her that this is not something that she can change her mind on in a few days when she is tired of not having what she wants. She said she understands, and is still willing to stick with it. I greatly admire her spirit, and cannot wait to share this Lenten season with her in this way, and see her relationship with God grow during this special time.

Thanks for Reading!

This evening I was waiting for Ava to come out of her dance class, and said hello to another mom who came in and sat next to me. In our conversation she brought up that she reads my blog and what fun it is for her to sit and read what I've written. It was so nice to hear that. This was a bright point not just today but in many a day of mine. I started this blog for myself, to hold myself accountable for seeing some bit of good in each and every day and taking those positive thoughts with me to bed. While my focus is not meant to be on the other people that read this, it is still nice to know that I am reaching other people, and maybe even from time to time bringing a bright moment to their day. In the beginning especially, I would almost get annoyed that no one would comment on my posts. I would think, doesn't anyone care about what I have to say? Are people even reading this, or is it a waste of my time? As the days have passed I have gotten better at remembering the true reason for what I am doing, but it still makes my day to know that someone somewhere is reading what I write and enjoying it. So thank you to Liz, and to all of you who have talked to me about what I'm writing and what you think of it. It helps me feel I am having an impact on the world around me, and that is a very positive way to end any day :)

Presidents' Day

Today I was very thankful for an extra day off. The girls didn't have school, so it was a very laid back day for all of us. We visited with a few friends and I got a little more post-party cleaning done. But after what felt like a crazy weekend, it was so nice to have an extra day to recharge and get ready for the week to come. So thanks, George and Abe, for having birthdays this month and being such outstanding leaders that we take a day off in your honor. I for one did not take the extra time for granted, and now feel all the more ready to tackle another exciting (aka crazy busy) week.

Jocelyn Rose

Today is Jocelyn's birthday. Three years ago today, I knew I was going to give birth to my second daughter. I had been checked into the hospital the night before, being told if I was not in active labor by the morning they would start inducing me. At about 10:55am, I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. The most memorable moment: at one point I heard one of the nurses say "8-14" and I thought, is that the time of day? Oh, no, it was her weight... ;)

Now what a big girl she really is! Jocelyn is such an amazing little girl. She has a humongous heart and is just the most caring child. She is exploring her nurturing side, always caring for those smaller than her. I love when she looks at Molly and says, "She's so CUTE!" She has herself a temper, but that temper is very short-lived - she has her fit, lets you know how she feels, and then is over it. She loves The Fresh Beat Band, and sings and dances her way through her day to all of their songs. She is becoming very girly too, preferring dresses and skirts to any cute top and pants. She is my snuggler: the only one of my daughters who will sit for any period of time nestled in my arms relaxing and being loved on. Her hair is finally starting to grow out, but heaven forbid you try to put anything in it, her hair is strictly free-range! She loves to wrestle, and is very talented at it (so says her Daddy, who's ready to start training her for her future MMA career).

I remember in the weeks before Jocelyn was born, I had the hardest time imaging how I could love another child as much as I loved my oldest. Ava and I had such a special bond, having spent so much time together while Ben was gone on deployments. But (like any parent of more than one child) the moment I saw her I was in love. She is my Texas Tornado, and I cannot imagine my life without that beautiful, loud ball of energy.

A few pictures from her special day:

decorations in the den

arts and crafts table

living room decor

more living room

the cakes - Ben's masterpieces

playing with friends

the food (half-eaten) and gifts

very excited about eating cake :)

more time with friends

dance party!!

being silly with Miss Victoria and Miss Veronica

cheesing with the gifts

what's in this one?

yay, presents!

what happens when you leave the 3-year-old alone in the kitchen with leftover cake... ;)

my big, beautiful, amazing, wonderful Jocelyn Rose :D

Getting Ready!

Much of today was spent prepping for Jocelyn's first real birthday party, which will be tomorrow afternoon. We picked up a few last things at the store, cleaned, Ben started his baking masterpieces, I decorated a little, and did a little more cleaning. As I was working, I got to thinking that preparing for this party is a lot like getting ready for the birth of a child - you try to get ready as much as you can ahead of time, have occasional moments of panic and stress, inevitably forget something minor, but it all turns out perfectly in the end. I am so excited to share this experience with Jocie tomorrow: the chance to celebrate with her family and friends what a wonderful person she is and how blessed we all are to have her in our lives. For now all that can be done is done, and now it's one last sleep before the big day!

Stylin' Sweats

Today was another "normal" day - nothing incredible, nothing traumatic. As I sat here deciding what to write about, I started to think about the small things that make even these not-so-special days good ones.

Tonight I am grateful for my sweatpants. I LOVE my sweatpants. Let's be real, I'm not even that picky, and sometimes wear Ben's Navy sweatpants. (They are huge and not attractive at all, but SO comfy!) If I am not leaving my house immediately after I wake up I will put a pair on, and I change back into them as soon as I can upon returning. I do my best to have the self respect not to wear my sweats out of the house, but I do on occasion decide that the people in Target can just judge me if they want to. My sweats make me happy - they keep me warm and comfortable on the craziest or calmest of days. On days like today it really is about the small things in life, and this is one small thing that makes a huge improvement in my day.

Bringing Home the Bacon

My blessing for today was most definitely my husband. Ben is my best friend, my partner, and I love him for many reasons. Today I appreciate him for one very specific reason: grocery shopping. I hate going to the grocery store. I'm not sure why, but it always seems like it takes too long, I take forever trying to figure out just what I want, and even going to the commissary I feel like I spend a ridiculous amount of money on food. Even worse, I CRINGE at the thought of having to take my children to the grocery store - making the awful task even worse with the never-ending "Can we get this?" and "I want that!" But Ben really enjoys going grocery shopping. Tonight, as he often does, he even took Ava and Jocelyn with him on his commissary run. I don't know very many men who are willing to go on more than a beer run to the grocery store, much less take their kids on such an excursion. Ben does it all the time, and it truly is one of the greatest gifts he gives me each week. In marriage it is so easy to slip into routine and forget to cherish all the small things we do for each other. Tonight I am grateful that God blessed me with a man that enjoys grocery shopping, and I hope to remember to thank him for being his wonderful self more often.

Slow and Steady...

As of today I have officially entered party-mode for Jocelyn's birthday this weekend. I suddenly realized I am going to have around 35 people in my house, and while I have done plenty of planning things out in my head, I hadn't actually started DOING anything to prepare. So today I made out the menu and started on a grocery list. Then we all spent a little time this evening working on the house. No deep cleaning, just picking up all the junk that accumulates here, there, everywhere. Ben asked me at one point if someone was coming over tomorrow. I said no, but I would like to not be running around like a chicken with my head cut off this weekend! Let's face it, I'll probably still get a little crazed as this party gets closer, but I was glad to get a head start on things today, and just to have a cleaner house in general puts a smile on my face :)

Love

Valentine's Day. It can be a funny thing. All day I keep seeing and hearing people whining about Valentine's Day being a dumb commercial holiday designed to make people who don't have a Love of their life feel like crap. I keep thinking, get over yourself! Why should the love of Valentine's Day be restricted to the romantic love of a partner? Rather than thinking about the love you don't have in your life, embrace the love you DO have in family, friends, pets... whoever makes you feel special.

But as I'm writing this, I have to say that today was a bit of a struggle for me too. Why? Because Valentine's Day wasn't a special day for me. My kids didn't decide to behave better than usual. My house didn't magically get cleaned. There was no fancy dinner. I dropped off and picked up kids from school and dance, ran a few errands in between, and did my usual thing. When the world is telling me today should be special and it doesn't turn out that way, it can in fact be a downer. But rather than wallow in what my Valentine's Day was not, I am choosing to be thankful tonight that this is not a necessary holiday for me. I don't need a designated day to know how loved I am. And as nice as they are, I don't need grand gestures to know in my heart that I have so many family and friends who love me and appreciate me for who I am. I am so blessed to be surrounded by people who tell me all the time that they love me, that they enjoy spending time with me, that I matter. I hope that even the most cynical Valentine's Day haters had at least one moment today when they felt loved by someone. Because love is precious, and life is not nearly as fulfilling without it.

Eat Your Veggies

This is a picture of Molly eating her dinner. What I so inadequately took a picture of is her polishing off the last bit of her BROCCOLI while half of her pizza is still sitting on her tray. I often brag that this is totally my kid - she loves her pizza and pasta, and works on eating her sisters under the table often in these categories. But tonight Ben decided to steam some broccoli - and as soon as it came out of the fridge Molly was drooling in anticipation. She INHALED every piece of broccoli we gave her, and quickly signed "please" for some more. And while it had me scratching my head in wonder, there was definitely a wide grin on my face. I'm not sure I can claim this child as my own any longer, but I am certainly glad she is inheriting good eating habits from somewhere. 

Family V-Day

Today we celebrated an early Valentine's Day. First we exchanged a few small gifts. Ben and Ava had gotten small things of chocolate for Jocelyn and I, and the girls gave Ben a gift we've been working on the last few days: he got a 3-frame set with the girls' pictures in it so he has a frame for his desk at work. (I have to be honest, I came up with this idea about a week ago, and I am quite pleased with the way it turned out.)

Then we went out to dinner. Ben's and my Valentine's tradition began the first Valentine's Day we shared while dating. We lived in a college town, which meant thousands of people all trying to cram into the very few nice restaurants each holiday. Since we both felt the point was who we were spending the day with and not where we were, we ate at Sonic Drive-In. Since then every year we have had our Valentine's dinner at Sonic, or at a similar fast food joint. We continue that now with our girls in hopes of passing on to them the value of cherishing the people and spirit of Valentine's Day rather than getting caught up in the materialistic aspect. This year we actually upgraded slightly and went to Red Robin. It was a typical dinner out - the girls guzzled their drinks in seconds and then could only eat about one quarter of their food; Molly entertained us all by eating a lemon and making awesome faces after each bite; Ben and I got a few uninterrupted sentences in to each other before having to tell a child to sit still or correctly. We have come a long way since that first Valentine's dinner 10 years ago, and I couldn't imagine it any other way.

Dance Day

Today was indeed a dance day, the first of many this spring. I had a dance company parents' meeting at 2:30pm, and seeing as how Ben was recruiting for his reserve unit and then had dance practice of his own, the girls all came with me. Ava and Jocelyn immediately disappeared to play with their other friends. Molly, true to form, decided to hold court during the meeting, never making a sound but rather wandering around the circle of parents, waving and giving her best grins to whoever would pay attention. Then we had dinner with 4 of the other dance families. We went to the Gilsons' house, and once again my children made a disappearing act. I am told there were dances choreographed, treasure hunts gone on, and somewhere in there dinner and dessert were feasted on. I on the other hand, other than having to corral Molly from jumping up the staircase from time to time, was able to sit and chat with a group of ladies I very much enjoy but rarely get to see outside the chaos of the dance studio.

This was our dinner group tonight. They range from munchkin to middle-schooler, but all get along beautifully (well, most of the time). I am so glad we get to be part of this wonderfully dysfunctional but highly entertaining dance family, and can't wait for all the fun times and wine shared in the months to come :)

One of a Kind

Today I had a very profound thought as a mom. I spent some time thinking about the fact that I love all my children the same (aka more than life) but the specific things I love about them are VERY different.

Molly and I played several cat-and-mouse type games today. She would hold out a toy for me to take only to yank it back at the last second. Every time I say "Momma" to her she immediately responds with "Dadda!" She is my first to play such button-pushing games with me. Fortunately for now, none of this bothers me, I just find her perceptiveness fascinating.

This afternoon Jocelyn was struggling to fall asleep at naptime. She was lying on my bed, so after a while I went in, lay down next to her with my book, and read while resting my hand gently on top of her head. It took her all of 5 minutes to fall into a deep-breathing sleep. Jocelyn is my only child who sees companionship at naptime as soothing and not stimulating. I love having those opportunities to watch her sleep peacefully.

This evening Ava and I went to run a few errands, one of which was at Old Navy. While there she saw one or two dresses for ME. She looked at them, said "Mom, these are very beautiful, you should try them on," and I actually did. None of the dresses were winners, but I was reminded that my oldest child is not a baby girl anymore, and growing more mature by the day. We had real adult-child conversations, not the adult-baby or adult-toddler kind. She has an intelligent brain and enormous heart, and I couldn't be more proud of the young lady she is becoming.

How is it that I can have such completely different kids, and yet not love them in different ways? A mother's love is a mother's love, and it doesn't change according to a child's strengths or weaknesses, talents or drawbacks. As Valentine's Day approaches, I am reminded of what a mysterious and wonderful thing love is, and how blessed I am to experience it every day with such abundance.

Fashionistas

This morning, as we were getting ready to head out the door to take Ava and Jocelyn to school, I looked at my daughters and began to laugh. The wardrobe selections were nothing short of awesome today. Ava had Pajama Day in her class, and Jocelyn had Pink and Purple Day. Add to that miss Molly, who for some reason owns sweatpants with the widest legs known to man, and we had ourselves quite the family fashion statement. Great way to begin the day :)

Tuned Out

I ran a little experiment today. I have been having a hard time with the girls' attitudes lately. Ava will go from pleasant to angry in a matter of seconds. Jocelyn whines more than she speaks, and if she doesn't get exactly what she wants (and I mean EXACTLY) she screams at the top of her lungs. Now, I know that much of this is the "darling" ages they are each at. I am very blessed to have overall exceptionally behaved children. The downside, however, is my tolerance for these attitude shifts is pretty low. I don't feel their age should be an excuse for their bad behavior, and am looking for something to change.

So today we went almost the entire day without watching TV. I say almost because they watched Disney's Robin Hood movie for just over an hour while I got 30 minutes of badly-needed rest and cooked dinner. But other than that, nothing. And I have to be honest, while each child whined about it at first, I think it was almost harder on me than them. I like having background noise on throughout the day. I rarely sit and actually watch any television, but I enjoy having it on for me to listen to as I do chores and get other things done. There were a few times I would have liked to turn on the TV, even to a kids' show, just to have something other than my crazy kids to listen to.

But no TV meant a nice, quiet evening for us all. After dinner, Ben and Ava played Wii Sports for a good long time together. (For the record, I don't consider this TV time because they are actively interacting with the game and each other.) Jocelyn and Molly played in the same room and I was able to fold and put away TWO loads of laundry. Listening to the Wii Sports playing was too funny. In baseball Ava kept hitting "signals" instead of "singles." In boxing Ava kept asking why Daddy kept knocking her guy down and when it was her turn to knock his down. In bowling Ava was trying to show Ben how to roll the ball, since he "didn't know what he was doing." (He really enjoyed that last one...)

In the course of the day we did more artwork, reading, and playing with each other than we usually do. I don't know what kind of an impact this will have on the girls if we continue this way, but I'm certainly hoping it might help us move in the right direction. I don't think it's the actual shows they're watching - we still watch all the preschool shows that are more educational and less smart-aleck kids - but maybe all the extra noise that I like is not so enjoyable for them. And I am certainly not going to suddenly become an anti-TV mom. I know there are those who are, and I have great respect for them, because I honestly don't know how dinner would get on the table or how I could ever leave the room without a little TV each day. But I am willing, for my kids, to make a greater effort to be less tuned in to what's on the tube, and more tuned into the pretty great real-life people I am sharing my days with.

The Power of Dance

Today's highlight was the hour-and-a-half that all of us girls spent at Chris Collins Dance Studio. I don't know if it was the full moon last night or what, but today the girls all decided that rest was highly overrated - Molly only took one nap for MAYBE an hour (most of which ended up being on my lap instead of her bed), and Jocelyn did not nap AT ALL. I knew that the final few hours of the day, aka the Witching Hours, would be even tougher than usual. We were all very much looking forward to our time at CCDS. Jocelyn is friends with all of the "big kids," and it takes only minutes for her to run off and find someone not yet in class to play with. Molly now enjoys toddling around the studio as well, and tries to escape me at every chance. Both girls REALLY love watching dance classes. When they have the chance, they will stand in the doorway mesmerized at the amazing things happening on the dance floor. I myself enjoy sitting in the lobby and having some semblance of adult conversation with the other parents waiting on their dancers. On Tuesdays I even get a 15 minute break to myself, when some of the dancers have extra time between classes, and after getting ready love to play with my kids. Each child has her favorite of course - Jocelyn's BFF is a girl named Casey, while Molly loves her some Miss Victoria, one of the assistant teachers who has also been a frequent babysitter for us. There were of course meltdowns upon leaving the magical world of dance class (mainly by Jocelyn today), and bedtime couldn't come fast enough once we got home, but that short break this evening certainly saved all of us from most certain and immediate insanity.

On the Other Side :)

Finally, a day that was better than the last! :) Today I was extra aware of the small things that make for a good day: feeling human was a great start. I still have a slightly bloodshot eye, but no migraine of body aches make the physical appearance much more bearable. I was WAY more productive today - washed dishes, completed multiple loads of laundry, and cleaned up rooms that over the weekend went by the wayside. My children were... well, still my children. They had their good moments and not-so-good moments, and we all took them in stride - no tears and very few raised voices. My two funny stories of the day: Ava informed me this morning that she should talk as much as possible so that way her mouth is too busy to suck her thumb. (It makes my head hurt on so many levels...) Then later Jocelyn was whining about something I told her to do. She said "BUT MOM..." Then there was this pause. She looked at me and said, "Mommy, you say no buts, Jocie Rose!" Glad to know even if she doesn't respond at least she hears me when I'm talking to her ;)

It always seems so hard when I'm not feeling well to remember just how quickly the illness passes. In the grand scheme it's a small blip forgotten almost immediately, but at the time it seems I'll feel sick forever and never be the same. But today I regained my perspective. I know this weekend was miserable more times than not, but today is Monday, the start of a new and much better week. My physical and emotional strength is returning with a vengeance, and I am excited to tackle whatever life brings in the days to come. I've heard the saying that if there was no "bad" you would not be able to appreciate how good the "good" really is. I am just really hoping I've had enough bad recently to keep me appreciating the good for a good long while.

Tears of Healing

Well, today did not start off well. At all. I woke up still feeling pretty sick, with a swollen eye and achy body. But it's Sunday, which means Mass. I decided I'd try to suck it up and make a go at attending Mass with the family. Boy what a HORRIBLE idea that was. All 3 girls were pretty miserable and did not behave well. But the biggest problem was me - I did not have the patience to deal with my children. I was tired and sick, and thus did not make for an understanding Momma. During the consecration I literally had all 3 kids trying to get my attention. (Let it be known that Ben was helping as much as he could, but like most kids mine feel they must always go to Momma first.) I finally snapped - I grabbed Molly (who needed to be taken to the back anyway) and went to the bathroom, where I proceeded to let myself cry for about a minute. Feeling I could pull myself together for the end of Mass, I returned to my family to finish things up, but I cried all the way home, and probably for a solid 15 minutes or so once we got in the house.

I have been trying so hard the last week or so to be Superwoman - taking care of sick kiddos, doing the usual house cleaning, and keeping myself healthy. I am usually pretty good at keeping my head above water, but today I had to let go and let myself have a good cry. The nice thing was, it helped me a lot! I think the crying flushed some of the gunk out of my eye, and now it's feeling a little better. But more importantly I cried all the bad emotions out of my system. I'm no longer bitter and upset for my children not behaving exactly as I think they should. I'm not embarrassed, disappointed, or depressed. I do not consider myself to be an overly emotional person, but I have learned to accept and even embrace these occasional cleansing cries. I've wiped the slate clean, and despite a VERY rocky start that's a nice way to start off the week.

Tomorrow

Today was not my best day. Ben was gone most of the day doing reserve stuff, and the girls and I stayed home and honestly did little more than drive each other crazy. We ended the day with a nice dinner out and even shopped for some flower girl dresses for Ava and Jocelyn, which was fun when the girls weren't running circles in the dressing room. But tonight I have no fun anecdote, no warm fuzzy of some cute thing that made my day. I am grateful tonight for this blog, and for those of you who read it and give me feedback now and then. Forcing myself to write this tonight is a good reminder that even though today was not wonderful, I will blessed with another day tomorrow. I can only hope and pray that tomorrow will be a better day than today, and if not that I will have the patience and grace to handle whatever may come my way.

Through Sickness

Tonight Jocelyn and I got to have an impromptu bonding night in the local emergency center. Nothing serious - just getting ourselves checked out for the pink eye Ava was gracious enough to share with us. Jocelyn didn't show any symptoms until almost 5pm, so we headed out after dinner at almost 7:30pm. Nice thing was it was VERY quiet tonight, and we were in and out in just over an hour. I was a little nervous about how she'd behave with it being so close to bedtime, but I think she enjoyed some one-on-one attention from Momma, even if it had to come in the form of side-by-side medical exams. It was a nice quiet time for me to realize just how much she's growing and maturing into her own unique, beautiful person. I would rather not have ended my Friday night in the ER, but can think of few others I'd like to have shared such a night with :)

Better Late...

I'm a little late on this entry, which should be for yesterday. I didn't get around to writing it last night because I felt AWFUL. Not really sick, just completely run down for some reason. I was in bed at 9 and asleep by 9:15! It was also somewhat of a long day because we spent the whole morning dealing with Ava and her sudden onset of conjunctivitis (aka pink eye). I dropped off Jocelyn at school at 9, walked around Target stalling until Ava's dr. appointment at 10:15, headed to the pharmacy by 11 where they did NOT have our prescription ready, picked Jocelyn back up at noon to go back to the pharmacy and finally get home just before 1pm. Not really how I had planned to spend my morning - usually Thursdays are just Molly and I, and I get cleaning done around the house while she keeps me company and plays. But throughout all the loading and unloading in the car and the many wait times throughout the morning, Ava and Molly were both excellent. I would not have blamed them for getting antsy and bored - I felt that way myself - but they just took it all in stride and went with the day. I am truly grateful for such well-behaved kids, especially on days that don't quite go as planned.

Mother Nature Weirdness

Today was an absolutely BEAUTIFUL day. Someone clearly forgot to tell the weather this is February in Washington, DC, because it was almost 70 degrees and not a cloud in the sky. This meant after naptime we all went outside and played in our front yard for the first time since we moved here. (Well, the first time snow wasn't involved, anyway) It was so much fun! Ava and Jocelyn kicked the soccer ball around with Ben and I. Molly was very weirded out by the sensation of standing on grass and stayed in one spot most of the time. After a little while some of our neighbors emerged, and the girls got to play with their friends while we had the chance to talk to our new neighbors and get to know them a little better. It was such a rare treat, the mild weather. I have no illusions that it will last, but I will take today and be very grateful for it.

Yay outside!!

Getting the hang of kicking the soccer ball

This grass stuff is WEIRD!

Jocie pouting for some unknown reason

Molly taking a turn at kicking the soccer ball

The girls and one of our neighbors playing hopscotch

Molly stealing a turn on Jocelyn's scooter

Life is GOOD :)

As if this weren't enough, tonight I am also thankful for my papasan chair. Ben and I bought this silly chair when we first got married. We received a few gift cards from Pier 1, and to be honest there was not much besides a papasan chair from that store that I wanted. Unfortunately, it's rarely fit in any of the places we've lived. In this new house, it currently sits in our study. Tonight, I cleared it off and sat and read for an hour or so. It is SO comfortable - it seems to cradle me as I relax and have some me-time at the end of the day. I am very excited to have rediscovered this little jewel of furniture, and look forward to many more evenings nestled in its welcoming seat.