The One Constant

Today was a good day. I have been sitting here for a few minutes trying to think of what event or moment to write about. While there are a few moments to choose from, I find myself in a reflective state of mind, so rather than write about what brought me joy today, I will instead write about what brings me peace tonight.

I have recently found myself feeling like my world is changing. I sometimes look around, both figuratively and literally, and wonder how I got to be where I am at. My children are growing so much so fast, becoming less of babies and more of little people everyday. There is still a great deal of uncertainty in Ben's job situation, and it looks as though there will not be any resolution for a while longer. Friends around us are moving to new homes, mostly where the military is sending them next. It's hard not to feel completely lost and overwhelmed at the amount of constant change. I have never been a fan of change; the life of a military wife has helped me accept change better but I don't like it any more today than I did the first time I moved at the age of 10. And yet, if there is one thing I have learned - especially in life since separating from the Navy - is that the only constant in life is change. There is no stopping the world from going. It's hang on for the ride or get left behind.

Amid all of this turmoil, I somehow find calm and peace in my faith. I don't have a reason to explain it or justify it. My life has not always been easy or smooth, nor has it become so after I've prayed especially hard or been spiritually strong. And yet, I know that despite all my feelings of doubt and worry, God will be by my side and pull me through. I'm sure many would just call this a coping mechanism, and maybe it is. But I cannot imagine a life without the belief of my always-present, always-loving God. I may look all around and see chaos, but He has a plan for me, and I have to trust that He knows what He's doing. I can worry and stress every minute of every day, but what does that get me? At the end of the day I am right where I was to begin with. There are of course some circumstances that I have control over. But all I can do is my best, and at the end of the day give the rest to God. Tonight I am grateful to know that there is someone looking out for me, even when I can't see it or understand it. Change is inevitable - I can always rely on its presence; but I can also rely on my loving, supportive God to help me through the chaos of each unknown. Tonight I am thankful for His grace that is bestowed upon me every moment of everyday.