Summer Cleaning

I have never been a spring cleaner. I don't clean on any kind of schedule, really. I consistently pick up every room in the house at the end of the day, but then I just go on common sense - the floor looks dirty so I sweep it, or the bathrooms haven't been deep cleaned in a while so I do it. The last few days I have been in a bit of a cleaning mood. It started when my washer flooded our basement (note to self: can't have clothes in the sink the washer drains into during a cycle). I ended up having to move everything on the floor, so I organized it and put it in piles in our other storage area. That led to cleaning out various kitchen drawers and cabinets that have long needed to be gone through. It's never fun and always takes longer than I think it should, but it's nice to have a clean and organized house in the end.

This afternoon one of our neighbors came over with a bag full of stuffed animals. They have recently moved across the street (literally) from a house they were renting to a house they have now purchased. As the kids have been unpacking their rooms they were getting rid of various books and stuffed animals, and Amber came to see if my girls would be interested in any of them. OF COURSE the girls quickly began deciding which animal would go to whom. Before they got carried away, I explained to Ava and Jocie that they could each pick 3 stuffed animals to keep, but would then have to pick 3 of their own stuffed animals to give away. They managed to do this with no problem. What really surprised me was that all of a sudden they wanted to go through ALL of their toys to pick things to give away. By the end of the night we had stuffed a garbage bag full of toys the girls were willing to part with. There were a few surprises, and a small handful of items I made them keep for sentimental reasons, but I did my best to keep my opinions to myself and let them have at it. The mother in me was happy to see my children so willing to share their old things with others less fortunate. The neat freak in me was ecstatic to see a few less toys to clutter up the rooms. There is still a TON of sorting out to be done with the girls' toys, but today was a great place to start from.

Momma/Molly date

This afternoon Ben, Ava, and Jocelyn left for another camping adventure, leaving Molly and I to our own devices. When Molly had woken up from her nap, we headed to the pool with a few of our neighbors. Then we came back home to shower, eat, and watch the latest Tinker Bell movie. It was fun to have some one-on-one time with Molly somewhere other than a medical facility. It was a fairly quiet but very nice evening.

Let's Bowl!

Tonight Ben and I finally got to have our date night that was postponed by Molly's hospital stay a few weeks ago. We went to Carrabba's and, thanks to a thank you gift from the Foleys for watching their girls when Catherine was born, Ben and I had a great meal for only $12.

Our after dinner plans had been up in the air. We couldn't really decide on a movie to see. Walking around wasn't really an option with the on-and-off rain. Finally Ben suggested we go bowling, and since we didn't have any better ideas that's where we headed.

It was SO much fun. I don't even remember the last time I bowled... and boy did that show in our first game! Ben blew me out of the water. I of course didn't go down without a fight, and eked out a victory in our second game. It was a good time reconnecting with my competitive self - I haven't allowed myself to be truly competitive in a while. It was nice, to say the least. I had a great time letting those juices flow once more, especially with Ben who loves to egg on. I am determined not to let so much time go by until the next time we have a "friendly" competition/date.

Race to Say Hello

I was eating dinner with Ava and Jocelyn when the kids who live two doors down ran outside to play. I knew exactly what was coming next: even though they had both been claiming starvation for almost an hour, Ava and Jocie both inhaled what was left on their plates and asked to go outside. I warned them that once they left the table dinner was over, but there was no slowing these girls down. Ava finished first, and as she ran out the door and down the driveway, I saw our neighbor (also an Ava) running toward my daughter. It could have been a remake of the cheesy scene with the two people running toward each other on the beach. It immediately made me smile - Ava would complain later on about being humgry, but in that moment nothing was going to keep her from her friend.

Answers

Heard of Periodic Fever Syndrome? I hadn't either, before today. But it seems I will be learning more about it, as this is the first actual diagnosis we have received for Molly's mystery fevers. I have to be honest, when I first heard it I thought it sounded like a load of baloney. However, having talked at length with an infectious disease specialist, it seems that not only is this a real thing, but best of all there are ways to manage it. For whatever reason Molly's body routinely thinks there is an infection to fight when there is nothing there. It's something she should outgrow in a few years, and on the off chance this is a misdiagnosis we'll know as soon as the treatment options are ineffective. The diagnosis is a clinical one - there is no medical test or marker to confirm it - but we now have a direction. The answers may not be absolute, but they're more than we've had up til now, and I couldn't be more thankful.

More Medical Adventures

This is another super late night post, as I am yet again in the pediatric ER with Molly. She has had another of her fever episodes for the last few days, and she has spiked high enough (105-106 degrees) that a trip to the ER was warrented. We arrived just after 9pm and were finally discharged just before 2am. Basically same results as the last time - indicators that an infection is present without an indication of exactly what kind of infection it may be.

The silver lining was that once again Molly was a total trooper. We learned this time that the pediatric ER has a TV channel where you can watch movies. We watched Tangled 1 1/2 times, Finding Nemo, and part of the Little Mermaid. She never fell asleep, but she was completely content sitting with me watching her movies. She peed in a cup, tolerated a strep culture, and championed through two blood work sticks. Her fever was under control when we arrived but returned while they were there; other than acting slightly more puny she handled it better than any 2-year-old should. I would have very much rather not have had to return to the ER with Molly, but my little medical superstar made the night together darn near fun.

Miss Jiu Jitsu

Over the last month, Jocelyn has been trying a jiu jitsu class. She has loved it from day one, but it has not been the easiest fit. She is the youngest by at least a few years and is usually the only girl. We hit a bit of a low point last week when Jocie spent more of her time chasing the boys trying to kiss them and tell them she loves them than actually learning jiu jitsu. Ben and I discussed taking her out and trying again later on, but decided to give it a few more weeks.

We didn't have to wait nearly that long. This evening Jocelyn and Ben came home from the gym very happy. There had been another 4-year-old in the class, which seemed to help Jocie out tremendously. The most remarkable part for me: at dinner I asked Jocelyn what was the coolest thing she learned in class. (I do this with the girls' dance classes too - it's easier for them to tell me one specific thing than recount an entire class.) Rather respond with "I don't know" like she usually does, she tells me the specific name of a move. I won't even pretend to remember what its name was, but it was a "sweep" move, and she was able to show me exactly where her hands would be placed on her opponent as she kicked his legs out from under him. I was blown away that she had picked that up. Now not only is she having fun but she is learning something. That makes it all worthwhile.

Like No One is Watching

We finished our crazy dance weekend with the dance company cast party. Everybody dresses up, eats overpriced food, socializes, and of course, dances. As should be surprise to no one, least of all me, Ava was one of the first kids out on the dance floor and one of the last to leave. But as I was watching her get her groove on, I was struck by an interesting realization. Most of the kids would dance full out with each other for a few minutes, then either stop dancing to chat or do some outrageous move to gain attention. Ava did neither of those things. She got out on the dance floor, would dance with people if they were around, but otherwise would dance - full out - all on her own. She didn't care if anyone was watching; truth be told, I don't even think she was aware of her surroundings at all. I kept thinking of the saying "Dance like nobody is watching." I don't know that I've ever thought of it too much, but that was exactly what Ava was doing. She was dancing as a way of letting out whatever she was feeling on the inside. I can honestly say that I have never danced like no one is watching; seeing Ava, however... I wondered for the first time in my life if maybe I'm missing out.

Ava (and Molly) getting their groove on

"workin' it"

Recital Day!

We finally made it - recital day! One of the longest days of our year (12 hours door to door), but always one of the best. A few of the highlights were:

* We had a few guests come to watch this year. Ava received flowers from no less than four people, and Ben and Jocie got a few as well. It was so special to them to have people come to watch them dance. It was special to me that anyone would sacrifice 3 or 4 hours of a Saturday to watch my family dance. I think they're pretty awesome, but that doesn't mean I expect everyone to agree with me.

* One of Ava's flowers came from Steve Olszowy. He is Victoria and Veronica's dad and works the curtain at recital. Ava and her friend Riley were walking in his wing before one of the performances, and Steve stopped them to give each of them a carnation. I looked and saw a box he had set up at his post, and several times throughout the day I saw him hand a flower to someone as they walked off stage. It was such a sweet and random gesture that was greatly appreciated by every one of his recipients.

Ava, Mr. Steve, and Riley

* Jocelyn's little class did GREAT! They smiled and did their dance so well. I was most proud of one of Jocie's classmates, who literally would not set foot on the stage at rehearsal, insisting on being held by her mom or a teacher the whole time. Today, she went out there all on her own with no hesitation or fear and did great. I'm not sure who was prouder, the dancer or her momma.

cheesing before the show

Jocelyn with her teacher, Miss Jenn

* The end of the night was rough. Ava did her quartet for the last time, and Victoria will be going to college in the fall. I found her afterwards in the dressing room just SOBBING. (Mainly out of sadness for Victoria leaving, but also because it was 9:15pm and she was way overtired.) She and Riley managed to pull it together to perform their group tap number but were still weepy all the way to the finale. As the kids were standing in the hallway waiting to take that fina
 bow, I saw Ava and Riley. Riley had her arm on Ava's shoulder, Ava's arm on Riley's waist; Ava's head was resting on Riley's shoulder, and Riley had her head resting atop Ava's. And they just stood there, holding each other. No more crying, just leaning on each other. It was a sad but sweet moment, an image that I won't soon forget.

I am completely and utterly drained by the past few days, but there is no one else I would share them with. I look forward to catching up on some sleep before partying it up  again tomorrow.

my all-star dancers

Just Breathe

I received one of the greatest compliments today about Ava's dancing. (Fair warning: the next few days' posts will most likely be dance-related.) Ava had finished her quartet rehearsal when I ran into her choreographer in the dressing room. We were both talking about Ava's natural ability to dance. Ava's quartet was a lyrical-style routine, a style which she has not officially taken a class for yet. I have been impressed by the emotions she is able to show through her facial expressions. But I was especially struck by Tiffany's observation: she said, "Ava uses her breath when she dances." I had never thought of it that way before, but she's right. And that is not something that can be taught. Ava dances with her body AND her spirit, and it is a beautiful thing to watch.

Here is a video of Ava's quartet, Never Grow Up. It's a little hard to see, but she'll be the little girl you see run on in the beginning and stays on the left throughout the routine

The Importance of Quality

I am technically writing this Friday morning, as Thursday turned out to be a MUCH longer day than I had anticipated. We had our first day of rehearsal for the upcoming dance recital. As I said, it was a long day - about 8 hours door to door. The girls did wonderful, as always, and even at 9:30pm Ava was still begging to stay just a little longer.

I was having a conversation with one or two of the moms last night that I remembered when I woke up this morning to discover the Spurs had lost the NBA finals. The Spurs are not a flashy or "sexy" team. They don't have players with national commercials or endorsement deals. They don't hold press conferences to announce what team they'll be playing for. Tim Duncan may be one of the most boring players to watch - you see the stats for his blocks, rebounds, and points, and don't remember half of it. The Spurs is a team of dedicated, hard working guys. But the fans may be the most special part of the team. Spurs fans are faithful in the worst of seasons as well as the best. They care as much for the calibur of the players' characters as their basketball abilities.

I say all this because I am proud to be part of our dance studio for much the same reason I am proud to be a Spurs fan. I will be totally honest: Ava could probably be a better dancer at a different studio. We see many studios at competitions and elsewhere with girls Ava's age turning and leaping in ways Ava's never thought of. (Not to completely undermine what Ava can do - she is a great dancer and has been taught a lot, but not as much as others.) What I love about Chris Collins Dance Studio is how Ava is growing as a person. I never worry about Ava dancing in a way that is age inappropriate. We all have made friends - my kids with the other dancers, Ben with many of the dads, and me with many moms and even a few of the teachers. Most importantly, my kids are not just being taught HOW to dance, but to LOVE dance. Many would criticize my lack of competitive spirit, but I have come to appreciate that there is more to life than being the best. The Spurs may have lost, and Ava may not be able to turn well, but I am happy with where I'm at and wouldn't change my allegiances for anything.

my beautiful ballerinas

A Lap to Sit On

This afternoon I took the girls to a puppet show at the local library. They had the room set up for the parents to sit in chairs along the sides and back, and the kids sit on the floor in the middle. So we walked in, I found a chair and the girls found a place on the carpet. Molly seemed to decide her place was in Ava's lap; Ava was happy to oblige. Most of the time my kids are so close in age that they act more as peers and the age difference doesn't much show. This was one of the rare times that there was a clear Big Sister and Little Sister role. It was very sweet to watch my oldest and youngest enjoying themselves in such a sweet, sisterly way.

So long, Kindergarten!

Today was Ava's last day of school as a kindergartener. I don't know how the past year flew by so quickly - seems only a few months ago we were walking into Canterbury Woods ES for the first time. Ava has grown so much this year, physically and mentally. I couldn't be prouder of who she is becoming each and every day. We will miss her little class - she was in a group of sweet, terrific kids led by two pretty awesome teachers and numerous helpers. This year will be a tough one to beat. Today we celebrated Ava's kindergarten journey and welcomed the beginning of a much-anticipated summer break.

our last day of school pose

with teacher aide Mrs. Burgin

with teacher Ms. Halbfoerster

To make the day even more fun, we ended up having an impromptu school's out party at our house. There was supposed to be a party at our neighborhood pool, and while we heard the party went on as planned, it was overcast after having stormed all day and I was not in any mood to go freeze at the pool. It turned out neither were any of our neighbors. So I volunteered to host the kids (and their parents) at our house for some finger foods and play time. As we parents all agreed, life is far easier when the kids are entertaining each other. We got some fun conversation in, the kids sufficiently wore themselves out, and the only meltdown of the night involved a legitimate injury - overall a great end to a memorable day.

our dinner party, minus one (he was still loading up his plate)

Super Molly

I know, I know, this is Day 3 of me writing about Molly. I promise I love my other daughters too! ;) But this truly made my day:

I had to take Molly in for yet another blood test. I was less than thrilled, to say the least. Not only is this an unpleasant experience on its own, but I was worried Molly would still remember all the sticks during our hospital stay and just flip out. But in we went, with Jocelyn tagging along for moral support. I sat in the chair and put Molly on my lap. As the lab tech started cleaning Molly's arm and I had to hold her a little tighter, Molly started to fuss and whine a bit. I asked Jocie to come over and talk to Molly. She did, and it worked beautifully - Molly became totallu distracted. Then I saw Jocie's eyes get big as she said, "Oh, no, Molly!" Molly and I looked down to find the needle already in place. The child did not even flinch!! She just turned back to Jocelyn and kept right on talking to her. Never a hint of discomfort or fear. I was beyond floored. This little girl is one tough cookie. I must have spent the next 30 minutes telling both girls how proud I was that they could be so brave. (It was hard for Jocie to witness that, I'm sure.) The world had better look out for miss Molly, because at the rate this kid is going, her nerves of steel will be kicking butt and taking names in no time.

Stall Tactics

Tonight I share another silly Molly development. She seems to think she has found a way to delay doing things she doesn't want to. When I call her name, she'll say, "Just a minute!" Which would be fine... except she never actually comes when her minute is up. Today, she was talking to her Papa. I asked her to say I love you, as we were getting ready to hang up. She replied, "No, Momma! I wanna talk!" She seems to have picked up on the fact that we say I love you just before Good-bye, so if she doesn't say I love you she can keep Papa on the phone indefinitely. (She discovered she was not correct in this assumption.) Then just before naptime, we watched the Grinch. (Per Molly's request.) When the movie ended and I said it was time to go upstairs, Molly came back at me with, "Well... how 'bout ten more minutes?" I really had to bite back the giggles - what two-year-old asks for a specific amount of additional time? It may not be the most endearing trait, this constant stalling and bargaining, and Molly is quickly learning that such attempts are futile, but her creativity cracks me up and keeps me forever wondering what on earth she'll say next.

Nighttime Sweetness

In the past couple weeks Molly has changed her bedtime routine in a small but very sweet way. I put her in her bed and ask her to say her prayers. Before I would stand above her crib with my hands folded. Recently, however, she wants me to squat down so I am just inches from her face. As she says her prayer she has one of her hands laying on top of mine. When she is finished praying she blows me a kiss good-night. But instead of her usual over-the-top, loud kiss, Molly blows a quiet and gentle kiss to me. It is a rare tender moment I get to share with Molly, and is such a special way to end my day with my children.

The One Constant

Today was a good day. I have been sitting here for a few minutes trying to think of what event or moment to write about. While there are a few moments to choose from, I find myself in a reflective state of mind, so rather than write about what brought me joy today, I will instead write about what brings me peace tonight.

I have recently found myself feeling like my world is changing. I sometimes look around, both figuratively and literally, and wonder how I got to be where I am at. My children are growing so much so fast, becoming less of babies and more of little people everyday. There is still a great deal of uncertainty in Ben's job situation, and it looks as though there will not be any resolution for a while longer. Friends around us are moving to new homes, mostly where the military is sending them next. It's hard not to feel completely lost and overwhelmed at the amount of constant change. I have never been a fan of change; the life of a military wife has helped me accept change better but I don't like it any more today than I did the first time I moved at the age of 10. And yet, if there is one thing I have learned - especially in life since separating from the Navy - is that the only constant in life is change. There is no stopping the world from going. It's hang on for the ride or get left behind.

Amid all of this turmoil, I somehow find calm and peace in my faith. I don't have a reason to explain it or justify it. My life has not always been easy or smooth, nor has it become so after I've prayed especially hard or been spiritually strong. And yet, I know that despite all my feelings of doubt and worry, God will be by my side and pull me through. I'm sure many would just call this a coping mechanism, and maybe it is. But I cannot imagine a life without the belief of my always-present, always-loving God. I may look all around and see chaos, but He has a plan for me, and I have to trust that He knows what He's doing. I can worry and stress every minute of every day, but what does that get me? At the end of the day I am right where I was to begin with. There are of course some circumstances that I have control over. But all I can do is my best, and at the end of the day give the rest to God. Tonight I am grateful to know that there is someone looking out for me, even when I can't see it or understand it. Change is inevitable - I can always rely on its presence; but I can also rely on my loving, supportive God to help me through the chaos of each unknown. Tonight I am thankful for His grace that is bestowed upon me every moment of everyday.

A Lovely Thank You

This afternoon I received an email from Ava's teacher asking me to stop by the classroom when I came to pick up Ava. When I got there Ava's teacher gave me a mug that has written on it "Thank you for helping us grow" with little flowers drawn along the bottom. I have stuffed the classes take-home folders all year long. It was the perfect job for me because I could bring Jocelyn and Molly with me. I didn't help with the kids themselves, but I took care of some grunt work so the teachers had one less thing to worry about. It was a small way to help but I was more than happy to do it. In a similar way, this mug is a small gesture but it is still nice to be appreciated. I will miss my Tuesday folder stuffing, but looking at this mug each time I use it will surely bring a smile to my face just as it did today.

Turning a New Leaf

I have written over the past few months about the struggles I have had with Jocelyn and her behavior. Today I have nothing but praises for my middle daughter. Recently she has been growing up before my very eyes. She cleaned the living room all by herself the other day without any coaxing or nagging. She helped me put dishes away the other day, and asks to help cook and prepare foods all of the time. She still struggles with her temper occasionally, but not nearly as much. Today in the car she was annoyed with Molly for singing or babbling or something. As she started to get upset, I told her she should ask Molly once to stop, and if Molly didn't listen she should just look out the window and ignore her sister. And SHE DID. I don't know if I should credit the end of the school year, her simply growing and maturing, or some other unknown cause for her behavior's improvement. To be perfectly honest, I don't care why she's behaving better. I just know I have been taking every opportunity to verbalize to her how proud I am of who she is becoming. It's bouts of good times like this that give me hope in the tougher times.

The Gift of Receiving

Today is Ben's and my wedding anniversary. It kicks off a month full of celebrating Ben - first this, then Father's Day, then his birthday at the end of the month. For the last few years we haven't given each other gifts, but just gone out on a date and spent some time together. A couple of days ago we were talking about doing the same thing this year: "You didn't get me anything right? We're not doing anniversary gifts?"

This evening when I came home from the dance studio with the kids, there were roses sitting on the table waiting for me. Let me start by saying I am NOT a flower person. I am disgustingly practical and think it's a waste of money to buy something that is going to die in a matter of days. But all three girls oohed and aahed at the pretty flowers, and I conceded that it was a sweet gesture. After the girls went to bed, Ben took out a few chocolate bars and candies he had bought me as well.

At this point I failed at life: I got annoyed with my husband. I said, "Remember how we said we weren't getting each other anything? This is something!" (Or something to that effect.) The bottom line was, I felt guilty that I hadn't felt so compelled to buy something for him that I looked like a jerk while he was going above and beyond to show how much he loved me. He was hurt and felt I wasn't grateful.

He was right. As the evening went on and I got my head out of my rear end, I realized I had missed my opportunity to just be appreciative. So what if I hadn't gotten Ben anything also? Yes it would have been nice, but not once did Ben act disappointed that he hadn't received any gifts. He had wanted to do something small to show his love for me, and rather than accept that gracefully I was selfish and thought of how it made me look bad.

Marriage is a never ending, ever evolving journey. My most vivid memory of our wedding day was moments before I was to walk down the aisle. My maid of honor, Sarah, was standing in front of me. She turned around to look at me and simply said, "You're really getting married!" before walking down the aisle herself. I remember feeling a physical jolt go through me, like the reality of that statement hadn't hit me until that very second. Then the reaction to that jolt: absolute calm. I had never been more sure of any choice I had made in my life, before or since. I am eternally blessed to share my life's journey with Ben, who loves me wholly and unconditionally, in my good moments and in moments like tonight when I am not at my finest. There have been many moments of growth and learning like tonight in our marriage, and I think we have always handled such moments with love and understanding. It has been an amazing eight years, and I pray God blesses us with many more to come.

Muddy Mess

We have been getting a lot of rain recently. A LOT of rain. We walked outside to talk to our neighbors and let the kids play around. After a bit the boys next door began to take notice of a rather large puddle that was in their front yard. They started toeing around the outside, getting wetter and wetter as time went on.

I was shocked by what happened next: Molly saw these boys playing in the mud, and decided it would be fun to join them. She did the same thing, taking it slow at first, but after a few minutes was full-on splashing around in this muddy puddle. Even more surprising was a few minutes later when Ava joined in the mud puddle play! The boys' mom and I were just standing there watching and laughing. I felt like this was one of those once-in-a-lifetime moments. I certainly do not encourage my children playing in mud puddles, and I had a heck of a time getting them cleaned up afterwards. But for a half hour these kids had an absolute blast getting absolutely filthy in this mud puddle. I enjoyed watching them have such a great time... but they had better have gotten their fill, because I'm not sure it will ever happen again.

Molly testing the puddle out

This is fun!

Ava mid-jump

That poor patch of lawn may never recover

Molly wanted to see what she looked like - she laughed when she saw what a mess she really was!

Home Sweet Home!

Molly and I FINALLY got to come home today! A final set of labs revealed that Molly more than kicked this thing's butt all on her own. Still don't have all the answers - we know through several tests the things it WASN'T but can't say any more than it was a heck of a virus. Will continue to watch her over the next few months and keep in communication with her pediatrician, but for now it's a clean bill of health and no more hospital for us!

Tonight I find myself grateful for two things: first, the amazing staff at INOVA Fairfax. Every person who walked into our room all weekend came in with a smile on their face. They would talk to Molly and make sure she felt comfortable before talking to me. If we ever did need something it was provided within minutes. These people have a true passion for their jobs, and make sure the people they are caring for feel as safe and comfortable as possible. I cannot thank them enough for making what could have been a scary and stressful weekend really quite pleasant.

The second thing I am grateful is my bed. After sharing a hospital bed with my daughter all weekend, I could not think of a better place to be than my very own mattress in my very own room. I napped for almost two hours today, and tonight I fully intend to catch on some much needed rest. Itawas a crazy, unexpected kind of weekend. I am thankful for the bright moments I found in each day, and cannot wait to get back to life as normal in the days ahead.

The Best Husband

Today was not the day I had planned. You'd think by now I would know better, right? We had a Saturday full of playdates, dance meetings and practices, and a date night for Ben and I to celebrate our anniversary that's next week. It became clear early on that I would not be doing any of these things. Shortly after noon I was told that the team working on Molly wanted her to stay another night. They wanted her to go 24 hours with no fever on her own (without meds) before releasing her. Since she had had a fever at 2am, that meant either getting discharged in the middle of the night of just staying until Sunday morning.

This morning I had called to check in with Ben and let him know what had originally been planned for the day. Do what you want, or do nothing, I had told him. People will understand if we bail on stuff due to Molly being in the hospital. He decided to go through with all of our original plans. Our friends still came over to play for a short while (we were actually having them over while our friend's husband set up her surprise party at their parents' home - it worked out great!). Ben took Ava and Jocie to the dance studio for his parent meeting and stayed for Ava's rehearsal and a small teacher appreciation thing afterwards. The only plans to change were of course our date night. Instead, after dinner he brought the girls to come and visit Molly and I. We all hung out in the room watching a movie and catching up.

I am not sure I have ever been so grateful to have Ben as my partner in life. I know that it was hard for him to not be with Molly this weekend. I know that being at home not hearing firsthand what's happening with her was really hard. But he held down the fort and kept life normal for our other kids. I wasn't worried for a second about what was happening at home. I am unbelievably grateful that he let me stay with Molly and care for her while he took care of everything else. It was a sacrifice for him that I cannot thank him enough for. I have the best husband in the world - I never doubt that, but days like today make me take notice and appreciate him all the more.

Good morning!

playing with bubbles provided by the nurse

SO happy Daddy came to visit

Time for Each Child

Today has been one of the longest days (literally) that I have had in a long time. The nice part was that I had time with each of my daughters one-on-one. First up was Ava. Today was Career Day at her school, and the Kindergarteners were invited to dress up as what they want to be when they grow up. After some discussion, Ava finally decided to dress up as a dancer. (At first she just wanted to be famous, and I had to explain that you have to be famous for DOING something worthy of noticing - sorry but no Kardashians in this house.) Who knows what the chances are that she will really be a dancer when she grows up, or that she'll want to be that, but this is where she is at right now in her life, and I was glad to help her show her friends what she is currently aspiring to be.

my future ballet teacher

At lunchtime it was Jocelyn's turn for some attention. I think she must have seen something on TV this morning about making mini bagel pizzas, because all morning she was asking to make some for lunch. I didn't have any mini bagels, but we made tortilla pizzas. She did about 70% of the prep (I helped even things out as we went along). The pizzas tasted great, and Jocelyn was very proud of herself for getting to prepare her lunch on her own. I may have a little chef on my hands :)

spreading the sauce

enjoying her hard work

It became clear that one way or another Molly was going to make sure she was not forgotten today. She has been fighting a pesky fever all week long. It always breaks, but every morning when she wakes up and every afternoon when she gets up from her nap she has a fever of at least 102. This afternoon when she got up from her nap it was up to 104.5, so I said enough is enough and took her to the pediatrician. Unfortunately, it was late enough in the day that they sent us to the pediatrics ER to have some labwork and chest x-ray done. I stopped by the house just long enough to pick up my tablet and a coloring book for entertainment and some pj's for miss Molly, since it was promising to be a long night.

And boy was it!! We arrived at the ER around 6:30pm. Within an hour or so we had spoken with the nurse practitioner, gotten chest x-ray, peed in a cup, and had a port put in and labs drawn. By 9pm the NP returned to inform me that they were going to admit Molly for the night. Her white blood cell count was REALLY high, and so they wanted to make sure they ruled out a few more serious illnesses before just chalking this all up to a tough virus. It was midnight by the time we were transported upstairs, and almost 2am before all of the techs, nurses, and doctors had come in to do what they needed to do. Molly was PHENOMENAL. She dealt with the pokes, prods, and constant sleep interruptions with very little complaint. 

The funniest part of the whole experience: about every minute of so Molly would pathetically say to me, "Mommy, I not feel good." I would always respond with "I know, I'm sorry honey" or "I'm so sorry sweet pea." But a few times I said, "I know, pumpkin." To which she would look up at me annoyed and reply, "Mommy, I not a pumpkin! I Molly!!" I don't know why that particular pet name irritated her so, and I never said it on purpose, but every time I called her Pumpkin I was read the riot act. It was a healthy dose of laughter in an otherwise draining situation. I love all three of my pumpkins, even if I'm no longer allowed to call them that to their faces.

sad sack at the pediatrician

port in, overtired, and still smiling

Family Night

This evening turned into an impromptu family night. Before and after dinner the girls watched Brave together. Molly and I read a few books. Jocelyn and Ava made some creations with dominoes, and then Ben joined them for a game or two of dominoes. It was a very lovely last couple of hours to our day. It is nice that my children are getting old enough to initiate evenings like tonight. We all had fun together, and that is a pretty great way to end the day.

Preschool Reunion

This morning we had a mini preschool reunion for Jocelyn's class. One of the other moms had invited all of the kids to a local playground, and out of 12 children only 2 did not make it. Everyone had a blast - the kids played on the playground, swung on the swings, explored mini ponds and chased bugs in a nearby field. There were snacks and drinks brought to share... all in all a great way to spend a few hours this morning. What struck me most is how fortunate both my daughters were with their classmates this year. Their classes are full of kids who are all good friends. Of course they all have the kids they are closer to, but I saw Jocie play with all 9 other children at some point or other. As we were leaving, Jocelyn had to give every one of her old classmates a hug AND kiss. As we were walking away, we kept hearing, "BYE, JOCELYN!!" To which (without even looking) Jocelyn would reply, "BYE" and say the name of whoever was yelling at her. I knew when we left the house that we would have a nice time; I left the playground with a much greater appreciation for the special friendships Jocelyn created this year.

Flashback

This afternoon I was sitting at the dance studio as Jocelyn's dance class had just begun, when her teacher walked toward me with her 6-month-old son. The person who usually watches Jaxon during Jocie's class hadn't arrived yet, so Jenn asked if I would watch him until his normal sitter got there. I said of course and took Jax from his Momma.

Holding Jaxon reminded me of Jocelyn when she was a baby - he is a SOLID kid. He is easily in 9 month clothes, and probably not too far off from a 12 month size. I am now so used to Molly, who weighs nothing and is a little string bean. It was fun working my Momma muscles again on a chunky baby. He was great, and I had a great time reminiscing my own chunky baby Jocelyn's days. I am a bit out of practice (my arms were certainly feeling the burn by the time Heather arrived) but I had a blast entertaining Jaxon and playing stand-in sitter.

Molly-hug Magic

Today was a very long day. I didn't sleep well and woke up early, which is NEVER a good way to start things off. We are taking our neighbor to school the rest of the year, so there was an extra child in the house to entertain (not to mention behave my grumpy sleep-deprived self around). Molly has been dealing with pink eye for a day or two, and then woke up with a fever as well so she was puny and out of sorts. Despite all this, we got kids dropped off at school, went to get my hair done, came home just long enough to grab a quick lunch, picked up Ava from school, and went to the pediatrician. We were home for about 2 hours before I headed back out to turn money in at the dance studio and pick up Molly's prescription. Oh, and to top it all off I was having some "girl" issues of my own (sorry if that's TMI).

I tell you all of this to set the scene of a very tired Momma making dinner. I was making grilled cheese sandwiches, and after I had flipped them over I just sat down on the kitchen floor to rest for a minute. Molly came walking in to the kitchen at that moment. She saw me, paused, and then came running towards me. She collided with me and gave me a huge hug and said, "I love you, Mommy!!" Somehow this little person's hug alleviated my exhaustion and discomfort. Molly sat there and hugged and snuggled with me for about a minute, and it was hands down the best minute of my day.

Papa's Princess

We have been very blessed that my dad works closely with Fort Detrick in Frederick, MD and travels to our area every couple months. That is, until the joys of sequestration kicked in. It has been six months since he's been out here, which is easily the longest stretch we haven't seen him since we moved to Virginia. It seems Molly is especially aware of this, as over the last week or she has randomly said to me, "Momma, Papa want to come to my house? He my BEST friend!!" 

This evening we had the chance to Skype with Papa for a few minutes. Of course, Molly was in the middle of a very riveting episode of Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, so it took a few minutes to pry her away. But once she was in front of that screen, she immediately lit up and squealed at her Papa. She proceeded to spend the next few moments making silly noises and laughing hysterically as my dad would "mess up" nursery rhymes. As we were getting ready to wrap up, Molly posed her question to Papa: "You wanna come my house?" He of course said maybe soon... to which she promptly brought out her best pout face. These two have a pretty special relationship, and it is so fun watching the two of them crack each other up and make each other smile. I'm telling you what, this girl loves her Papa, and while it will still probably be a while until she sees him in person again, I was glad she could get a little fix tonight to tide her over.

Be Our Guest!

This morning was AWFUL. All three girls were in the mood to push any and all of each other's buttons, and I was not in any mood to deal with their nonsense. By 10am I was on the phone with my mom only half-joking on whether we would all make it to the end of the day in one piece. It was even more daunting as we were having one of Ava's friends over for the afternoon and evening. Would having an extra body in the house brighten everyone's mood? Maybe. But could it make life even more miserable? Quite possibly.

Fortunately, everyone had composed themselves by the time Samantha arrived. All four girls had a blast - there was almost no arguing at all (just a little complaining about younger sisters butting into the big girls' playtime). I took a handful of pictures, and at one point found myself wondering what for. I mean, it's not like we don't have people over all of the time. A small part of it was it was our first time out with the sprinkler this year, and it's always fun to document the firsts of each season. But I finally realized I was just so excited the kids were having so much fun after such a disaster of a morning. It turned out a guest was just what we all needed, and the day ended up WAY better than it began.

playing in the sprinkler

look at us!

ah, my youngest child...

drying off

time for a popsicle/ice cream sandwich break

movie time!

friends cozy in the papasan chair