The Same Page

The new year in our dance world has gotten off to a bit of a rocky start. Ava has entered her fourth year in the studio's company, and as such has added more required classes as well as a number of recommended classes. Long story short, after a lot of discussion Ben and I decided to cut Ava back on a few classes. She is taking the same number of classes as last year, whereas most of the other girls in her group have added at least one if not two or three more classes to their schedules. (As it stands Ava is currently registered in five classes - way more than I ever took even as I got older.) While we of course believe we made the best decision for our daughter and family, we have gotten some resistance and guilt that Ava is not putting in the time that her other teammates are. Once again this evening I had a discussion that upon leaving made me feel bad and unsure that I was doing the right thing.

So for the first time, I asked Ava for her input. Until now I hadn't asked her opinion so as not to let her think she rules the roost and gets to choose what she wants to do. But tonight I asked her several questions, and I was blown away by her answers. First was if she still enjoyed dancing. Her immediate response: "Oh yes, Mommy. I feel this is what I was born to do." After suppressing my gag reflex, I restated what I've told her already, that her daddy and I had decided she should drop a few classes so as not to be so committed to dance that she had no time for anything else. However, this time I asked how she felt about not taking those classes. She said she was okay with it, that it didn't really bother her. Finally, I asked her what she enjoyed about dancing. She said she likes the technique - of learning new moves and steps so that she can show others what a beautiful dancer she can be. She loves performing, but she loves the process of learning to dance even more. That is what Ben and I are working so hard to get her because that's what we want for her too. Knowing that our family unit is all on the same page and feeling the same way about this made all of the bad feelings from the earlier conversation go away. No one else has to understand or agree with our choices. At the end of the day we do what is best for our family. That is what is important, and I was blessed to get a much-needed reminder of that from my 6-year-old tonight.