Friday, May 31, 2013

Friends, Friends, Friends

Today we spent almost all day out of the house. This morning Jocelyn, Molly, and I went to play at a nearby playground with a few of Jocelyn's preschool friends. This afternoon Ava and I ended our dance photo week with her dance friends and my dance mom friends. Then we ended our day running up and down the street with the neighborhood kids. My girls are all very social children - way more so than I was at their ages - and I feel so blessed that we have found so many wonderful people to share our days with.

Preschool playmates

Ava's Musical Theatre group - SUCH a fun routine

the neighborhood kids playing freeze tag

Thursday, May 30, 2013

Silly Girls

This afternoon both Jocelyn and Molly made me laugh within an hour of each other. First, I had gotten each of them new water bottles for the summertime. Molly used hers a little, but Jocelyn must have downed at least 20 oz. in less than an hour. The result: quiet time was interrupted about every 15 minutes by a bathroom break. Each time I would hear Jocie say, "I have to use the potty AGAIN!?!" I chuckled to myself at Jocelyn's frustration from over-hydrating.

Just a short while later, Molly woke up from her nap. Instead of calling for me to get her as she usually does, I heard Molly start singing her favorite song - Call Me Maybe - to herself. It seems she knows much more of the song than the last time I heard her sing it, for she was singing several parts of the verses as well as the entire chorus. Most toddlers sing nursery rhymes; mine sings the latest radio hits. My girls can be just plain silly sometimes, and their silliness makes my day.

Wednesday, May 29, 2013

ER Date Night

Tonight I got to take Ben to the emergency room. Long story VERY short, his eardrum seems to have erupted. We of course managed to pick a hospital that had received multiple ambulance and helicopter deliveries of patients, but in less than two hours we were on our way out the door with prescription in hand.

What I kept thinking about throughout the whole situation was that this was one of those Love Is times. Tonight, love was imposing on a neighbor to sit in my house while my children slept so I could sit in a nasty ER waiting room with my husband. It was listening to the doctor say that his eardrum MAY have ruptured but he couldn't see any holes to indicate it. It was driving through what used to be the 24-hour pharmacy less than a mile from my house only to discover that it is no longer in fact a 24-hour pharmacy. Because Ben was in real pain tonight - he would not have asked to go to the doctor so late at night otherwise. And no matter how tired I was, despite the fact I wanted to do nothing more than sit on my couch and watch TV while folding laundry, I did not hesitate for a second to get Ben the help he needed. Because his health and comfort are more important than any of that other stuff. I am sad we couldn't get him more immediate relief, but am glad we got answers and Ben is now on the road to recovery. I am sure it won't be long before I am giving him a hard time for rupturing his ear drum just to spend some time out of the house alone with me.

Tuesday, May 28, 2013

Picture Day 1

Today kicks off one of the roughest weeks of the year - Picture Week at the dance studio. You may ask, Why on earth would it be rough? It's just dressing up and posing for a few pictures, right? The short answer is, it should be just that. However, when there are three days of heading to the studio (often straight from school) to race into full hair and make-up (which must be perfect of course) and then sit around and wait for your group to go in... it's long and stressful. And that's not even taking into account which pictures to buy!

Anyway, my girls did great. Jocie took her one picture and Ava had two. Molly of course got to come along for the ride. By 6pm, two hours after we had gotten there (not shabby by picture day standards), the girls were whiny and hungry but still in one piece. It is another benchmark of the year, when all of us moms look at each other and wonder what on earth we were smoking when we agreed to all of this but keep smiling and doing what we have to do for our children. One day down, two more to go!

Jocelyn's first ballet bun

Little Miss Sunshine ready for pictures

Molly, always the good sport, eating goldfish while sisters get their pictures done

Happy to be done!

Ava's acro costume - I'm pretty excited to see this routine

My girls with three of their favorite big girls - Miss Madi, Miss Courtney, and Miss Victoria

Monday, May 27, 2013

Best Intentions

Today I have found myself in a funk on more than one occasion. It is Memorial Day, and I felt much of the day was spent by people talking loudly. And not volume loud, but making-sure-they-got-their-point-across loud. Many people chose to thank all of our service members for their dedication and sacrifice. Which is all well and good, but today is not about the service members still with us; rather, we should take this day to focus on those who have made the ultimate sacrifice and lost their lives defending our freedom, as well as the families left to carry on in their absence. Others were sure to remind us of this very thing, getting annoyed with anyone who would be enjoying their BBQs so much that they forget even for a moment what this day is really observed for. Yes, it's important to remember why we honor this day, but I don't want to be made to feel guilty for enjoying myself either. (And let's face it, the people who don't give today the respect it deserves probably aren't listening to any of this scolding anyway.)

It was pretty hard to unbury the good from the annoyance and frustration at times. But I found inspiration in two of my neighbors this afternoon. Today also happens to be their 35th wedding anniversary. To celebrate, they bought a bunch of frozen ice cream treats and invited the whole block over to their driveway to share in some tasty snacks. They distributed flyers a few days ago letting everyone know the what, when, and where, and we all showed up accordingly. But for the few hours we were all milling around their driveway, no one felt the need to point out why we were there. Nobody got annoyed that we weren't focusing on John and Belinda, as they were the honorees of the event. They brought out a picture from their wedding day to place on the table they had set up with the ice cream, and that was that. I think there were a few conversations about weddings and other anniversaries, but there was also talk about home renovations, summer plans, parent/child relations, and all sorts of other topics in between.

I think there's something to be said for the phrase "actions speak louder than words." Often even the most well-intentioned message can be misread or badly received. Sometimes it takes saying little to nothing at all, but rather speaking through your actions and behavior, that resound the most with those around you. While no one officially made a big deal about the Bueschers' anniversary, we all still remembered to congratulate them and celebrate the occasion in our own way. I hope that I can likewise learn to talk when necessary but live by example whenever possible. May I show my message, whatever it may be, through what I do and not always what I feel the need to say.

Sunday, May 26, 2013

Shopping Break

Today was another day outside - the girls played, Ben changed the oil in his car and worked in the yard. I had been doing something indoors but needed to come out and ask Ben a question. My next-door neighbor came out at the same time on her way to run a few errands. She invited me to join her, and on a whim I said yes and jumped in the car before I (or Ben) could change my mind. We were gone about two hours, and it was a really nice trip. LaTisha is probably even busier than I am, and so other than waving hi as we drive by each other we don't get to catch up much. This afternoon, we looked for clothes for our kids, picked up a few random things at Target, and talked about anything and everything. It was such a nice and unexpected adult outing. I am really glad LaTisha asked me to join her today, and that we got to become not just neighbors but better friends.

Saturday, May 25, 2013

Outside Play

Today my children played outside. All. Day. Long. They went outside just after breakfast, came inside briefly for lunch, and went back out until we dragged them in for dinner around 6pm. They played with the other kids on our street some of the time, on their own when others had their own meal or snack breaks. I honestly don't think it ever occurred to me that my children would get to have these kinds of experiences. In a world where there is so much danger for children, I didn't think my kids would be able to play outside all day long. It is such a blessing to live on a street with other families who get along and look out for each other. I do not let my guard down, nor do I take my children's safety for granted, but I embrace the feeling of community and family on our street and appreciate that my girls can have a fun-filled day outside in the fresh air.

Friday, May 24, 2013

Jocelyn's Last Day of School

Today Jocelyn completed her year in her three-year-old preschool class. It was a day that I feel very aptly represents what this year has been like. We got to school on time and in great spirits. The kids were to be dismissed early for their end-of-the-year picnic and party, so I spent my hour or so running a few errands. I got done everything I needed to and in perfect time. Then about a mile from the school, I received a phone call from Ben that he was running back to the house because he had forgotten the kids' lunches. We arrive at the school, I let Molly out of her car seat for a minute before getting her out, and open the car door to discover she has had an accident and is soaked from navel to knee. I grabbed the extra set of clothes from my car and raced to change Molly before getting Jocelyn out of her classroom. All in all, the final 5 minutes of that time frame seemed to completely undo the productivity of the previous 60. Once I had the chance to step back I realized this was not the case, but it is so easy to let the little bad moments erase all the good moments.

This is how Jocelyn's year has been. We started off the year great. She has always loved going to school - there has not been a single morning that I have had to coerce her in any way to go to school. She looks forward to seeing her teachers and friends, and loves every part of her school day. Her favorite centers were art and music, and her favorite job was to be the line leader. The past few months we have seen Jocelyn struggle a bit. She began with some bad behavior that was getting her sent to time out. That situation improved, only to give way to severe mood swings that left Jocelyn crying so hard she made her head hurt, and took herself out participating in many of the classroom activities. Especially as this has all happened towards the end of the year, it has been hard to feel good about this school year overall. And yet, these few instances of bad behavior don't discount all the progress Jocelyn has made this year. She can now spell and write her own name. She still struggles with pronunciation but is much improved since September and has a terrific vocabulary. She has learned how to socialize with her classmates - how to take turns, share her thoughts and feelings, and resolve conflicts. (Again, we're far from perfect, but the concepts are there that weren't at the beginning of the year.) Overall Jocelyn had a great year. If you were to ask her she would not say a single negative thing about her school experience this year. We may have some work to do this summer, but the few hiccups will not taint the overall great year we celebrated this morning.

Jocie with her two wonderful teachers, Mrs. Woodworth and Mrs. Beckman 

Thursday, May 23, 2013

It's Raining, It's POURING

I am currently listening to a healthy thunderstorm outside my house. On a basic level, I am thankful tonight to live under a roof that keeps me, my family, and all of our belongings safe and dry. But more than that, I am blessed to have children that do not freak out about the weather. About 20 minutes ago, I was sitting at our desk in the study, which is directly under a window. All of a sudden, a HUGE flash of lightening lit up the room, while a loud clap of thunder sounded simultaneously. My native Floridian kicked in: I knew the lightening was incredibly close, and feared for our trees outside. Once we figured out all was okay, I realized that not one of my sleeping children made so much as a peep after that crash of thunder. My kids have never worried about the weather - not that we have experienced a ton of severe weather, but even on the rare occasion they do not seem troubled or worried in the least. In my life as a mom constantly having to wade through the minds of young children, I feel blessed that this is one irrational fear I do not have to battle. I will instead listen to the soothing sound of the rain as my sweet family sleeps through the storm.

Wednesday, May 22, 2013

Steps Forward

Yesterday I wrote about Jocelyn, and today I will as well but for a very different reason. Jocelyn has been struggling in school for a few months now. Most of the time she's doing great, but every now and then something will go wrong (or not the way she wants it to) and she loses her cool. As in will cry very loudly, sometimes for extended periods of time. On Monday I stayed after dismissal yet again to be filled on yet another rough day. I came home feeling very upset - this is Jocie's last week of school, so there's no time for her to have significant improvement. I feel at this point that now at the end of the year she is behaviorally behind where she was in September. I feel like I have done all I can to work on her at home and prep her for her school days, and am at a loss as to where we go from here.

So today I asked to speak to one or both of the preschool directors, who happen to also be the two 4-year-old class teachers. I was able to talk to Ava's teacher from last year, who is familiar with both Jocelyn and her recent struggles. We got to talk for about 20 minutes, and I got so much great feedback from her. She was very matter-of-fact in what would and would not be tolerated from Jocelyn next year, but also armed me with loads of suggestions as to how I might work with Jocie this summer to help her better her behavior. I was reminded of how blessed I feel to have found this preschool for my kids. Each member of the staff truly love my children (and all the students) and want to do all in their power to ensure these kids succeed. We still have some major work to do, but I feel much less overwhelmed about the task ahead of me. Ben and I are Jocie's parents, but there are many other wonderful people helping us raise our children, and for that I am incredibly grateful.

Tuesday, May 21, 2013

In the Limelight

Today was a very normal day - nothing out of the ordinary or exciting occurred. So I have really had to think about what I'd consider my blessing or happy moment for the day. I've settled on watching Jocelyn practice her recital dance. At the end of class each week now, the parents and other students are invited into the dance room to watch Jocelyn's class perform their recital routine. Each time we watch, Jocie is just overcome with glee. She has the biggest smile on her face and giggles for at least the first 20 seconds of the dance (while doing her steps, of course). She is just so excited to be the center of attention - she spends so much time with these "big girls" watching Ava, and now they are finally watching her. She is so very proud of herself; I think these performances might be when she's at her happiest these days. I would do anything for that huge grin and the beautiful little girl behind it.

Monday, May 20, 2013

Regularly Scheduled Chaos

Today was once again back to life as normal after a crazy dance weekend. We started off with good news at Ava's follow-up doctor's appointment that she is on the mend and looking good. Everyone who should have been in school went to school today, and I got to catch up on laundry, dishes, and other picking up tasks that were ignored the past few days. I picked up Jocelyn at noon and Ava at 1:15pm, and that was it - we were done for the day. Nothing but napping (for EVERYONE), playing, and cleaning. It was a nice slow beginning to the week, and a break we all very much needed.

Sunday, May 19, 2013

Dance Day (yes, again!)

Today was the last day of our last regional competition for this year. It was a LONG but wonderful day. We arrived at the venue at 8:30am, and were in the car headed home at 7:45pm. Ava danced 4 of her 5 dances this morning, and Ben danced his heart out in the afternoon. We snacked, danced in the hallways, and watched more dances than I could possibly count.

I had many special moments today, but here were a few: first, Ava's group performed jazz, ballet, and tap, in that order. They did fantastic in jazz, but ballet... well, ballet was kind of a train wreck. I don't know what happened - they all know the dance really well and have performed it great before, but this time they were all off. As they were walking back into the dressing room, Ava and some of the other girls were talking about how much they messed up, and were feeling a little down about it. I said to them, "Well you may have made some mistakes, but you'll just shake it off and do great in the next one." And you know what? They did just that. They got up on that stage less than 20 minutes later and rocked their tap routine. I was so proud of them for being able to get over a bad experience so quickly and turn out an awesome performance. Additionally, they got their highest scores yet in all of their dances. I told Ava that to me it doesn't matter what kind of trophy they get as long as they are showing improvement in each performance. Today they did just that, and finished the competition season on a very high note. All of us parents and teachers were so proud of our Rising Stars.

Then in the afternoon (in all of our down time) I was able to watch several of our older girls dance their solos. As I watched each girl dance her three or four minutes, I found myself reflecting. So many of these older girls have become honorary big sisters to my kids. We come to these competitions and within minutes my daughters have found a "big girl" to sit with. And if my kids don't find them, the big girls seek us out to say hello. So many of them - Victoria, Veronica, Kaitlin, Wendy, Courtney, Madi, Patience, and more - are beautiful dancers, but more importantly incredible PEOPLE. These young ladies are fierce, strong, passionate, gentle, loving, dedicated, silly, intelligent... in short, amazing. They are just the kind of role models I hope for my girls to have. A few of these girls are graduating and moving on in the fall, and while I am so sad to see them go I cannot wait to see what amazing things they do with their lives. They are yet another piece of what makes this dance family so special. I could not feel more blessed to call these girls our family's friends.

Saturday, May 18, 2013

Security Momma

Today began with me praising God for a quiet night - after being up with Ava until 1am on Thursday night/Friday morning with nonstop coughing, last night I only heard Ava cough twice. Hallelujah for good medicine! Unfortunately, a good night does not guarantee for a healthy child, so today was deemed a quiet stay-in-the-house day. Which turned out to work out well, because Molly had one of her weird days when she had a low-grade fever for no apparent reason whatsoever. Medicine helped perk her up a little, but she spent most of the day cuddled up on my chest, hands by her face (how she likes to sleep). I have to admit, I had fully intended on cleaning my house all day today, and I was able to get a little done but not nearly enough. And yet, as much as I never want my children to be sick, there is little better feeling than being non-medical treatment for your child. Molly was weepy and out of sorts, but as soon as I would pick her up and sit down with her against my chest she would calm down. My children are getting older and bigger, so I know this motherly treatment will only logistically work a little while longer. So I accepted that my kitchen will be a wreck for one more day and loved on my baby girl. Because sometimes a mother's love makes for pretty good medicine.

Friday, May 17, 2013

Preschool Performance


Today was a whirlwind of a day. We went to no less than 3 different doctor's offices before lunchtime, in between dropping off and picking up Jocelyn from school. We were all a little tired and worn out from that craziness, so it was nice to have something to look forward to this evening.

Tonight Jocelyn had her end of the year performance at school. Each year they do an evening program where the classes get up and sing one of their favorite songs from the past year. It is adorable to see each class get up and show off for their parents. I am so proud of how much Jocelyn has grown in the past year, physically, developmentally, and emotionally. I enjoyed celebrating her tonight and all she should be proud of herself for accomplishing this year.

Molly had to sit with the preschoolers to watch the performance

Jocie was just a TAD excited ;)

Thursday, May 16, 2013

Smile Big

This morning all three girls had appointments at the dentist. We have never had major issues with the dentist, just a few hiccups along the way. Ava has always loved the dentist, and never been nervous or complained about her visits. Jocelyn was not a fan of the moving chair for a visit or two, and had to be coaxed into lying down to be examined. Molly was much the same, not wanting to lie down and being pretty upset when we forced her to lean back into the dentist's lap for her cleaning. I'm never worried about our visits, but am always curious as to how they will go.

It is amazing the difference six months makes. Ava went back all by herself, and had her complete cleaning without me even being with her. Jocelyn and Molly were called back next, so I stood with Molly while also in Jocie's sightline. Molly laid down in the chair all by herself, and while she asked for me to hold her hand once or twice, she did everything the hygienist asked her to do without any issues. Meanwhile Jocelyn got x-rays without any problems. We left with zero cavities and zero complaints. I was so proud of my big girls, their beautiful smiles, and their brave spirits.

Wednesday, May 15, 2013

Doctor, Doctor

This afternoon was the kind of afternoon I couldn't have imagined if I tried. I had come downstairs to get ready to pick Ava up, when I saw I had a missed call from the elementary school. I had been running around the house and don't always have my phone, so I thought nothing of it and called them back. Turned out that Ava was in the clinic and needed to be picked up. When I arrived, the nurse informed me that she had called my cell not once but 4 or 5 times over an hour and a half period. Additionally, she had called our house phone, which is not working; Ben's work number that they have on file, which is no longer current; and my two emergency contacts, neither of whom picked up. I of course felt horribly that Ava had been sitting in the clinic for that long, and I have no idea why my phone never rang or even registered that I had missed calls. The nurse seemed a little annoyed with me, which made me feel guilty as well, but knowing there was nothing more I could have done, I just grabbed my kids and headed for home.

I called the pediatrician, who suggested I bring Ava in. Which meant quickly throwing my kids back in the car so we could make it to the doctor's office in time. We made it, went back to get Ava's vitals completed, and were sent to one of the exam rooms to wait. For fifteen minutes. Fifteen very LONG minutes. I realized that doctor's exam rooms may be the absolute worst places on earth. Every inch of the room is a hard surface, which makes for easy disinfecting but amplifies my children's voices about a thousand times. In my head, I knew the girls were being good - not perfect, but good - but I was still about to lose my mind from all the noise in the tiny room. Finally the doctor came in, looked at Ava, and diagnosed her with possible bronchitis. (Her lungs sounded pretty clear, but her cough is pretty wet and deep.) The doctor left briefly to send in the prescriptions... at which point (of course) Molly announces she has to go to the bathroom. *Sigh* Okay, here we go. I left Ava and Jocie in the exam room to take Molly to the bathroom, where she did in fact pee. We return to the room, where the doctor is ready to explain the prescriptions to me. Less than 30 seconds in: "Mommy, I have to go to the bathroom!!" Molly again. She doesn't even wait for me before she's tearing down the hallway, while the doctor is still trying to talk to me. I apologize profusely as I chase my toddler down the hall. Again, success - Molly pooped in the potty. We left with dry pull-ups and a fried Momma brain.

Most days I feel like I'm a chicken running with my head cut off, but I think I cover for myself well. Today I think I looked as frazzled as I felt. I can't stand looking like I can't get my act together, like my life is completely out of control. And yet, I have these little faces to remind me that I must be doing something right. The girls may have been loud, but every noise in that exam room was a happy one, as my girls played together pleasantly to pass the time. Ava had a fever and is coughing like a pack-a-day-smoker, but has as good an attitude as any other day. I couldn't fake the Supermom persona today, but looking at my daughters I am reminded that I don't have to be perfect to be a good Mom.

Thank goodness.

"Mom, Molly's sitting in my lap - take a picture!"

my sick-but-smiling champ

Tuesday, May 14, 2013

Ballerina Wannabe

This afternoon we arrived at the dance studio for Jocelyn's class. I got her coverup off, put on her ballet shoes, and sent her in to class. Meanwhile, Molly had gotten out her own ballet shoes to put on. Several months ago I began to pack our smallest pair of ballet shoes in the dance bag so Molly could wear dance shoes too. (Often she demands to have her own shoes on.) Today, she had gotten one shoe on, so I helped her with the second shoe and tied the strings for her. Molly then stood up and said, "I go in and dance with Sister now." Apparently she thought the secret to getting into the dance room was to wear the correct shoes. I apologized to her and said that she couldn't go dance with Jocelyn today. She gave me her best pouty face and buried her head in my lap. It is pretty sweet how badly she wants to do the fun things her big sisters can. I love my little dance student hopeful, and can't wait until she gets to participate in a class of her very own.

Monday, May 13, 2013

Miss Katy to the Rescue

Last night Jocelyn ended up feeling pretty under the weather. She didn't even make it through dinner, but bailed to change into her pajamas and headed to bed just before 7pm. I had hoped she'd be able to sleep it off, but she woke up an hour earlier than normal this morning burning up. Medicine helped make her a little more comfortable, but it became clear immediately that this would be a day spent at home resting.

Only problem with this: we were in DESPERATE need of a grocery run. I had wanted to go to the commissary on Thursday or Friday, but didn't find the time. I knew we'd have enough food to last til today, but just barely. My plan had been to head to the store after dropping Jocelyn off at preschool, but that obviously wasn't happening. As I was searching my brain to come up with a plan B, I mentioned on Facebook in a post how much it stunk to have a sick kid and no food in the house.

Shortly thereafter, I got a reply from our friend Katy offering to stay with my sick kid while I ran to the commissary. I would never in a million years would have asked anyone to do this, and under most other circumstances I would have graciously declined her offer. But seeing as how I had no clue what we would have for lunch, I took Katy up on her offer and left her for just over an hour with my puny preschooler and not-so-puny toddler. It was unbelievably kind of her to help me out, and made for a bright spot to a fairly gloomy Monday.

Sunday, May 12, 2013

A Mother's Gift

Today was a very nice Mother's Day. My husband and girls brought me breakfast in bed - Ben delivered the pancakes, Ava brought in powdered sugar, Jocelyn the syrup, and Molly gave me a coupon book that the girls had made. There were all kinds of cute coupons, from a free nap to a hundred to car washes to a million dishes washed (by Daddy, of course). The rest of the day was full of quiet, sweet moments. Molly napped with me. Jocelyn snuggled with me and watched some basketball. Ava kept trying to find things to do or gifts to give me so I would know how special I am to her. And I did feel very special today. I wouldn't trade a second of my life as a mom, and it was nice for all of us to celebrate that today.

I was also thinking a lot today about the other mothers in my life. I feel blessed to share this day with so many other strong, incredible women. I remember in a special way those who are having to celebrate Mother's Day without one of their loved ones. It seems as though several people I am close to have either lost a mother or children in the last year. I was talking with my friend Heather on Friday, and she was describing how hard Mother's Day was going to be this year. Even though it's not a "big" holiday, it's all about the love between mothers and their children. When one of those people is missing it makes the holiday a difficult one to get through. If there is one thing I have learned in the last 6 1/2 years, it is that once you are a mother you are always a mother. From the moment you know there is a little person growing inside you until you take your last breath, you are a mother. It is truly a calling and a blessing, and I wish nothing but the best for all of the women blessed to be called Mom.

Saturday, May 11, 2013

Big Girl Good-byes

Today was full of fun activities. We started the day off with a birthday party, took a short break and split up between naps and dance practice, and then ended the night with a college graduation party. The best of my day came at the very end. I am the mom of three young children, which means just about every time we have to leave a fun event there is wailing and gnashing of teeth. This evening I gave the girls a 5-minute warning, then told them it was time to leave. Jocelyn and Molly proceeded to make the rounds, saying, "Bye, we have to go home now!" and giving everyone at the party a big hug. There was no whining. There was no protesting. I watched these little girls say their good-byes in a very grown-up way, and it made me smile. Every now and then my girls surprise me by acting older than their years. We had a great day that ended as happily as it began.

Friday, May 10, 2013

Early Mother's Day

This morning both Ava and Jocelyn had Mother's Day Teas at their schools. Logistically, this meant a bit of rushing around for me. But it was more than worth it. Jocelyn had the extra special treat of having both Ben and I show up for her tea. Since Ben couldn't go to the Donuts with Dad morning, he was more than happy to join us for tea. And it made it easier for me to leave Jocie's tea early to drive to Ava's school. We had strawberries, pastries, and tea, and I got a cute paper and gift from Jocelyn. It was a short but very sweet way to start the morning.



Then it was off to Ava's class. Their tea was a little more involved - they sang songs, read poems, gave the moms a few gifts, and had a special snack of their own. The cutest part was as we were getting ready for the snack. Ava's teacher reminded the kids that since this was a morning for their moms, that the kids should get plates of food and serve their moms before getting a snack for themselves. The entire time I could see the dual feelings of pride for being big enough to help their moms, and depression that they were not getting to dig right into the yummy snacks themselves. They were all great, and we moms felt very special. 




Both Ava and Jocelyn are at that perfect age where they come up with things to write or say about their moms that genuinely come from the heart. They don't say things because they have to or they think it's what they are supposed to say. When Ava was asked why she loves me, she said because I am so pretty. Jocelyn said she loves me because I make her laugh so hard when I tickle her head. I laugh at the honesty and silliness of both responses, but they mean more to me than any gift ever could. I am so blessed to be the mother to such incredible children. Today I felt very loved, and that is a fantastic way to kick off Mother's Day weekend.

Thursday, May 9, 2013

Spring has Sprung!

This afternoon the weather was the nicest it's been in a long time. We came home from school pick up, and the girls immediately turned around and went outside to play. They played until dinner, took a short break to wolf down some food, and then were back outside as soon as they had cleared their plates. Our street was filled with all the neighborhood kids riding bikes, playing ball, and running around outside. I am so glad that the warmer weather seems to be here to stay. The kids love getting to be outside, and happy kids make for a happy Momma.

Wednesday, May 8, 2013

Dancing Fools


Today was a bit rough. I never know if I am just oversensitive or not, but it seemed like every single word I said today was completely ignored by all three of my children. I did my best to be patient and calm, but by the end of dinner I knew I had to take a break. I went upstairs to fold laundry and get a little distance from my darling yet trying daughters.

They were not affected one bit. I heard all kinds of animated conversation, which culminated in a song and dance party. All three girls were laughing together and having a great time. I was reminded that however much my kids may frustrate me - on a daily basis - I love them like crazy, for who they are and for the smiles they can always put on my face.




Tuesday, May 7, 2013

With Love From Santa

Molly is entering a phase I remember each of my girls going through, in which she is very interested in where all of her possessions came from. "Mommy, who give me my dress?" "Mommy, where my toy come from?" And when she's not asking where things came from, she's making up her own scenarios. "Momma, Grandma give me this flower." It seems over the last few days Santa is the giver of almost all things. Today he was credited for giving Molly her bear blankie, her dress, her boots, her book, and at least 3 other things. I have a hard time believing Molly even really remembers who Santa is, but she has a very clear image in her head that he is a wonderful giver of special things. I smile at her sillyness and sweetness in this goofy game she loves to play.

Monday, May 6, 2013

Military Kids

Ben left active duty about a year and a half ago, with his last two years being on "shore duty." So our kids have never really had to know what it means to be a military child. In the past few months, however, they seem to have been making up for lost time. Ben has been attending several schools that have taken him to Mississippi and California for weeks at a time. And thanks to the time changes there have been pretty long stretches when the girls haven't even talked to their Daddy on the phone. It's been hard, and there have been plenty of rough days, but overall they have handled it as well as I expect them to and better.

Today held the ultimate test. Yesterday the girls saw their Daddy for the first time in two weeks, and were over the moon excited to have him home. He went off to work today with the promise of being home for dinner. That is until 9am, when he was informed he must return to Virginia Beach to complete some paperwork. He had to leave before either Ava or Jocelyn got home from school, and could be gone until as late as Friday.

I was terrified of how the girls would handle this news. They had finally gotten their dad back home, only to have him leave again. When I explained the situation, there was disappointment on the girls' faces, but they took the news like champs. And we had a GREAT evening. The girls played together, rolling balls to each other, dancing, and coloring. We skyped with Ben so the girls could at least see Ben on the computer and tell him about their days. There were no meltdowns, so uncontrollable sadness. These girls are incredible, taking whatever life (and these days the Navy) throws at them. They will not be military kids forever, but they have what it takes for however long it takes. And I love them for it.

Sunday, May 5, 2013

BTS, Day 2

Today was our second and final day at Beyond the Stars. Today we had a few extra guests tagging along, as we brought the whole family - including Ben! He got home last night after the girls went to bed, so they were very surprised to find him home first thing this morning. There was a lot of squealing and hugging involved in Ben's wake up call today. We arrived at the competition shortly after 11am, and were there until about 5:40pm. It was a lot of down time - only 2 dances for Ava today and Ben's Dad Dance debut. But the girls did GREAT. We did our best to keep everyone fed and occupied, and there were very few whines as a result. It was a fun day supporting our dancers. I love my dancers and their little cheerleaders, and can't wait for some down time now over the next few days.

Ava with her dance big sister Veronica

lunching outside

coloring during some down time

yes Mom, I'll humor you with a smile

Ben and his girls after a second day of awards

my tired yet happy dancer

Saturday, May 4, 2013

Beyond the Stars, Day 1

Today Ava had her first day of competition. From the moment she woke up, she kept saying, "I don't care at all about the trophies. I just want to do my best and have fun!" And she did indeed have fun. The routines were cute and well done. It was her small group's first competition, and the girls all seemed to have a fun and positive experience.

Ava's ballet costume

Ballet routine: March of the Toys

Tap time - Ease on Down the Road

last minute pep talk from Mr. Chris

hammin' it up before their jazz routine "Hot & Cold"

showing off her stretchy self

group shot after awards

What I was most proud of today was Ava's first Awesome Dancer button experience. Our dance studio began the Awesome Dancer buttons a few years back as a way of showing support and good sportsmanship for other studios. Our dancers look for someone they think performed really well or tried really hard or was kind... any reason they feel that person is an "awesome dancer." Each of our dancers gets a button attached to a paper explaining the program, and they give this button to the dancer they feel deserves it. (I hope my explanation makes sense.) I told Ava about it and said I would keep her button in my purse for when she decided who she wanted to give it to. Dance after dance I would see people who I personally would have given buttons to - girls who expressed emotion so beautifully or danced so gracefully. But I held my tongue and waited for Ava to make her own decision. Finally, in some large group number, she leans over to me and says, "Mom, you see that girls two in from the left? She looks like she loves doing this dance. I want to give her my button." I'll be perfectly honest: I wasn't overly impressed with this particular dancer. She was okay, but not the best or a star by any stretch. But again, this wasn't my thing, and so once the number was over I walked Ava backstage to the dressing to find her Awesome Dancer. We found her and Ava gave her the button. The girl looked a little confused, and of course Ava decides at that moment to be shy, so I explained a little to the girl what we were giving her. She smiled very sweetly and thanked us. Maybe I'm just projecting, but I got the impression this isn't a girl who is the center of attention much, and it really seemed to mean a lot to her to get this button. I think Ava made the perfect choice, and hope that her Awesome Dancer carries this good memory with her for a long time.

Friday, May 3, 2013

Mom & Ava Adventures

This evening kicked off yet another dance competition weekend. This one is being held just outside of Baltimore. Ava's dances start early in the morning, so to save myself some time and stress the two of us are staying in a hotel this evening near the venue. This was not a very easy decision for me. Since Ben is not here I was trying to figure out how I could work getting Ava ready for her dances with Jocelyn and Molly with us. In the end I realized it would be really hard on me and not much fun for the girls. So I called Miss Bev and asked her to rescue me one more time. She came and stayed at my house with the younger two so I could focus on Ava tomorrow morning.

Today was special in two ways. First, even though we didn't get to the hotel until 7:30pm, Ava and I got some one-on-one time that we haven't had in a very long time. We watched some show on the Disney channel, ate almost an entire bag of Goldfish in one sitting, and were just silly as can be, laughing at each other. It was great fun spending the evening just focusing on Ava. She was my first best friend/daughter, and I hope to have many more special times like this in the years to come.

On the other side, I came to appreciate Bev in a whole new way through this experience. Towards the end of the night I saw she had posted this on Facebook: "spent a wonderful evening with two of the sweetest girls on earth. Crayons, play dough, mac 'n cheese, and tons of Mardi Gras beads. The love, hugs, and snuggles I get from Jocie make every visit more than worth the drive up 95; but now that Molly is actually a walking, talking little person, I can think of few sounds more precious than her little voice calling, "Miss Bev!" from across the house, with the exception of the, "I love you too!" that I got a couple times. ♥" Reading this made me realize that I am not just leaving my kids with a babysitter. I left my girls with someone who LOVES them and cherishes them as much as I do. I have never left my kids with anyone who I was not confident could take care of them. But it made me feel so blessed to have this person who will not just fill my girls' physical needs but their emotional ones as well. Knowing this allowed me to let go of any worry or stress I was holding onto concerning Jocie and Molly and put all my attention on Ava. That was such a gift. I will never be able to adequately repay Bev for what she gives to our family, but I am so thankful to have her in our lives.

Thursday, May 2, 2013

A Beautiful Sound

This afternoon I got to talk to Ben for the first time in a week. Hearing his voice, even over the phone for just a few moments, totally made my day. I have missed him so much, and can't wait to have him back home soon.

Wednesday, May 1, 2013

What a HUMP Day

Today started off incredibly rough. I was approached by a mom standing on the corner seeing her child off on the bus. She literally walked into the middle of the street to flag me down so she could inform me that I had "blown past" the stopped bus at some point last week. I immediately told I was sure I hadn't, as I am very conscious of such things, having small children of my own. She simply replied with a "Okay (with an eye roll clearly saying she didn't believe me). Well I have notified the school, and if you do it again I will have to take down your license plate number." And she walked off.

My first and biggest lesson from this encounter was to be very careful with the interactions I have with strangers. That woman doesn't know me, and has absolutely no concept that her few sentences to me threw off my entire morning. I was so embarrassed and angry and indignant and so many other things, and had no way to really deal with it because my interaction was over as soon as I drove away. How many times do I get snippy with a customer service person over the phone, or act less than polite to someone I deal with at a store? I tell myself what I say doesn't matter, they don't know me and I will never see them again. After today, I will think long and hard, as I now realize the impact even a stranger can have on my emotional health on any given day.

I spent the rest of the day doing all I could to ensure my bad beginning did not define my day. I cried on the phone to my mom, finally processing what had happened and allowing myself be upset by it. I took full advantage of quiet time and lay in my bed with my eyes closed for almost two hours. I didn't even sleep much, but gave my eyes some much-needed rest. I spent time with my daughters, letting their love refill my emotional bucket.

My day ended with me discovering my next door neighbor mowing my lawn. Our house was one of the few that had not been mowed yet this spring, and it was looking pretty jungly. But I had not said a thing about it, and without any hesitation Darren came home from a full day of work to do something kind for me. That act alone restored my faith in people for the day. Not everyday will go smoothly; not every interaction will be pleasant. But for every bad moment there are many more good moments, and these are what we should hold onto. It is so easy to cling to the anger and resentment - I did most of the day - but the good moments are what enrich our lives, and we should give them the greater attention they deserve.