Tuesday, May 7, 2013
With Love From Santa
Molly is entering a phase I remember each of my girls going through, in which she is very interested in where all of her possessions came from. "Mommy, who give me my dress?" "Mommy, where my toy come from?" And when she's not asking where things came from, she's making up her own scenarios. "Momma, Grandma give me this flower." It seems over the last few days Santa is the giver of almost all things. Today he was credited for giving Molly her bear blankie, her dress, her boots, her book, and at least 3 other things. I have a hard time believing Molly even really remembers who Santa is, but she has a very clear image in her head that he is a wonderful giver of special things. I smile at her sillyness and sweetness in this goofy game she loves to play.
Monday, May 6, 2013
Military Kids
Ben left active duty about a year and a half ago, with his last two years being on "shore duty." So our kids have never really had to know what it means to be a military child. In the past few months, however, they seem to have been making up for lost time. Ben has been attending several schools that have taken him to Mississippi and California for weeks at a time. And thanks to the time changes there have been pretty long stretches when the girls haven't even talked to their Daddy on the phone. It's been hard, and there have been plenty of rough days, but overall they have handled it as well as I expect them to and better.
Today held the ultimate test. Yesterday the girls saw their Daddy for the first time in two weeks, and were over the moon excited to have him home. He went off to work today with the promise of being home for dinner. That is until 9am, when he was informed he must return to Virginia Beach to complete some paperwork. He had to leave before either Ava or Jocelyn got home from school, and could be gone until as late as Friday.
I was terrified of how the girls would handle this news. They had finally gotten their dad back home, only to have him leave again. When I explained the situation, there was disappointment on the girls' faces, but they took the news like champs. And we had a GREAT evening. The girls played together, rolling balls to each other, dancing, and coloring. We skyped with Ben so the girls could at least see Ben on the computer and tell him about their days. There were no meltdowns, so uncontrollable sadness. These girls are incredible, taking whatever life (and these days the Navy) throws at them. They will not be military kids forever, but they have what it takes for however long it takes. And I love them for it.
Today held the ultimate test. Yesterday the girls saw their Daddy for the first time in two weeks, and were over the moon excited to have him home. He went off to work today with the promise of being home for dinner. That is until 9am, when he was informed he must return to Virginia Beach to complete some paperwork. He had to leave before either Ava or Jocelyn got home from school, and could be gone until as late as Friday.
I was terrified of how the girls would handle this news. They had finally gotten their dad back home, only to have him leave again. When I explained the situation, there was disappointment on the girls' faces, but they took the news like champs. And we had a GREAT evening. The girls played together, rolling balls to each other, dancing, and coloring. We skyped with Ben so the girls could at least see Ben on the computer and tell him about their days. There were no meltdowns, so uncontrollable sadness. These girls are incredible, taking whatever life (and these days the Navy) throws at them. They will not be military kids forever, but they have what it takes for however long it takes. And I love them for it.
Sunday, May 5, 2013
BTS, Day 2
Today was our second and final day at Beyond the Stars. Today we had a few extra guests tagging along, as we brought the whole family - including Ben! He got home last night after the girls went to bed, so they were very surprised to find him home first thing this morning. There was a lot of squealing and hugging involved in Ben's wake up call today. We arrived at the competition shortly after 11am, and were there until about 5:40pm. It was a lot of down time - only 2 dances for Ava today and Ben's Dad Dance debut. But the girls did GREAT. We did our best to keep everyone fed and occupied, and there were very few whines as a result. It was a fun day supporting our dancers. I love my dancers and their little cheerleaders, and can't wait for some down time now over the next few days.
Ava with her dance big sister Veronica
lunching outside
coloring during some down time
yes Mom, I'll humor you with a smile
Ben and his girls after a second day of awards
my tired yet happy dancer
Saturday, May 4, 2013
Beyond the Stars, Day 1
Today Ava had her first day of competition. From the moment she woke up, she kept saying, "I don't care at all about the trophies. I just want to do my best and have fun!" And she did indeed have fun. The routines were cute and well done. It was her small group's first competition, and the girls all seemed to have a fun and positive experience.
What I was most proud of today was Ava's first Awesome Dancer button experience. Our dance studio began the Awesome Dancer buttons a few years back as a way of showing support and good sportsmanship for other studios. Our dancers look for someone they think performed really well or tried really hard or was kind... any reason they feel that person is an "awesome dancer." Each of our dancers gets a button attached to a paper explaining the program, and they give this button to the dancer they feel deserves it. (I hope my explanation makes sense.) I told Ava about it and said I would keep her button in my purse for when she decided who she wanted to give it to. Dance after dance I would see people who I personally would have given buttons to - girls who expressed emotion so beautifully or danced so gracefully. But I held my tongue and waited for Ava to make her own decision. Finally, in some large group number, she leans over to me and says, "Mom, you see that girls two in from the left? She looks like she loves doing this dance. I want to give her my button." I'll be perfectly honest: I wasn't overly impressed with this particular dancer. She was okay, but not the best or a star by any stretch. But again, this wasn't my thing, and so once the number was over I walked Ava backstage to the dressing to find her Awesome Dancer. We found her and Ava gave her the button. The girl looked a little confused, and of course Ava decides at that moment to be shy, so I explained a little to the girl what we were giving her. She smiled very sweetly and thanked us. Maybe I'm just projecting, but I got the impression this isn't a girl who is the center of attention much, and it really seemed to mean a lot to her to get this button. I think Ava made the perfect choice, and hope that her Awesome Dancer carries this good memory with her for a long time.
Ava's ballet costume
Ballet routine: March of the Toys
Tap time - Ease on Down the Road
last minute pep talk from Mr. Chris
hammin' it up before their jazz routine "Hot & Cold"
showing off her stretchy self
group shot after awards
What I was most proud of today was Ava's first Awesome Dancer button experience. Our dance studio began the Awesome Dancer buttons a few years back as a way of showing support and good sportsmanship for other studios. Our dancers look for someone they think performed really well or tried really hard or was kind... any reason they feel that person is an "awesome dancer." Each of our dancers gets a button attached to a paper explaining the program, and they give this button to the dancer they feel deserves it. (I hope my explanation makes sense.) I told Ava about it and said I would keep her button in my purse for when she decided who she wanted to give it to. Dance after dance I would see people who I personally would have given buttons to - girls who expressed emotion so beautifully or danced so gracefully. But I held my tongue and waited for Ava to make her own decision. Finally, in some large group number, she leans over to me and says, "Mom, you see that girls two in from the left? She looks like she loves doing this dance. I want to give her my button." I'll be perfectly honest: I wasn't overly impressed with this particular dancer. She was okay, but not the best or a star by any stretch. But again, this wasn't my thing, and so once the number was over I walked Ava backstage to the dressing to find her Awesome Dancer. We found her and Ava gave her the button. The girl looked a little confused, and of course Ava decides at that moment to be shy, so I explained a little to the girl what we were giving her. She smiled very sweetly and thanked us. Maybe I'm just projecting, but I got the impression this isn't a girl who is the center of attention much, and it really seemed to mean a lot to her to get this button. I think Ava made the perfect choice, and hope that her Awesome Dancer carries this good memory with her for a long time.
Friday, May 3, 2013
Mom & Ava Adventures
This evening kicked off yet another dance competition weekend. This one is being held just outside of Baltimore. Ava's dances start early in the morning, so to save myself some time and stress the two of us are staying in a hotel this evening near the venue. This was not a very easy decision for me. Since Ben is not here I was trying to figure out how I could work getting Ava ready for her dances with Jocelyn and Molly with us. In the end I realized it would be really hard on me and not much fun for the girls. So I called Miss Bev and asked her to rescue me one more time. She came and stayed at my house with the younger two so I could focus on Ava tomorrow morning.
Today was special in two ways. First, even though we didn't get to the hotel until 7:30pm, Ava and I got some one-on-one time that we haven't had in a very long time. We watched some show on the Disney channel, ate almost an entire bag of Goldfish in one sitting, and were just silly as can be, laughing at each other. It was great fun spending the evening just focusing on Ava. She was my first best friend/daughter, and I hope to have many more special times like this in the years to come.
On the other side, I came to appreciate Bev in a whole new way through this experience. Towards the end of the night I saw she had posted this on Facebook: "spent a wonderful evening with two of the sweetest girls on earth. Crayons, play dough, mac 'n cheese, and tons of Mardi Gras beads. The love, hugs, and snuggles I get from Jocie make every visit more than worth the drive up 95; but now that Molly is actually a walking, talking little person, I can think of few sounds more precious than her little voice calling, "Miss Bev!" from across the house, with the exception of the, "I love you too!" that I got a couple times. ♥" Reading this made me realize that I am not just leaving my kids with a babysitter. I left my girls with someone who LOVES them and cherishes them as much as I do. I have never left my kids with anyone who I was not confident could take care of them. But it made me feel so blessed to have this person who will not just fill my girls' physical needs but their emotional ones as well. Knowing this allowed me to let go of any worry or stress I was holding onto concerning Jocie and Molly and put all my attention on Ava. That was such a gift. I will never be able to adequately repay Bev for what she gives to our family, but I am so thankful to have her in our lives.
Today was special in two ways. First, even though we didn't get to the hotel until 7:30pm, Ava and I got some one-on-one time that we haven't had in a very long time. We watched some show on the Disney channel, ate almost an entire bag of Goldfish in one sitting, and were just silly as can be, laughing at each other. It was great fun spending the evening just focusing on Ava. She was my first best friend/daughter, and I hope to have many more special times like this in the years to come.
On the other side, I came to appreciate Bev in a whole new way through this experience. Towards the end of the night I saw she had posted this on Facebook: "spent a wonderful evening with two of the sweetest girls on earth. Crayons, play dough, mac 'n cheese, and tons of Mardi Gras beads. The love, hugs, and snuggles I get from Jocie make every visit more than worth the drive up 95; but now that Molly is actually a walking, talking little person, I can think of few sounds more precious than her little voice calling, "Miss Bev!" from across the house, with the exception of the, "I love you too!" that I got a couple times. ♥" Reading this made me realize that I am not just leaving my kids with a babysitter. I left my girls with someone who LOVES them and cherishes them as much as I do. I have never left my kids with anyone who I was not confident could take care of them. But it made me feel so blessed to have this person who will not just fill my girls' physical needs but their emotional ones as well. Knowing this allowed me to let go of any worry or stress I was holding onto concerning Jocie and Molly and put all my attention on Ava. That was such a gift. I will never be able to adequately repay Bev for what she gives to our family, but I am so thankful to have her in our lives.
Thursday, May 2, 2013
A Beautiful Sound
This afternoon I got to talk to Ben for the first time in a week. Hearing his voice, even over the phone for just a few moments, totally made my day. I have missed him so much, and can't wait to have him back home soon.
Wednesday, May 1, 2013
What a HUMP Day
Today started off incredibly rough. I was approached by a mom standing on the corner seeing her child off on the bus. She literally walked into the middle of the street to flag me down so she could inform me that I had "blown past" the stopped bus at some point last week. I immediately told I was sure I hadn't, as I am very conscious of such things, having small children of my own. She simply replied with a "Okay (with an eye roll clearly saying she didn't believe me). Well I have notified the school, and if you do it again I will have to take down your license plate number." And she walked off.
My first and biggest lesson from this encounter was to be very careful with the interactions I have with strangers. That woman doesn't know me, and has absolutely no concept that her few sentences to me threw off my entire morning. I was so embarrassed and angry and indignant and so many other things, and had no way to really deal with it because my interaction was over as soon as I drove away. How many times do I get snippy with a customer service person over the phone, or act less than polite to someone I deal with at a store? I tell myself what I say doesn't matter, they don't know me and I will never see them again. After today, I will think long and hard, as I now realize the impact even a stranger can have on my emotional health on any given day.
I spent the rest of the day doing all I could to ensure my bad beginning did not define my day. I cried on the phone to my mom, finally processing what had happened and allowing myself be upset by it. I took full advantage of quiet time and lay in my bed with my eyes closed for almost two hours. I didn't even sleep much, but gave my eyes some much-needed rest. I spent time with my daughters, letting their love refill my emotional bucket.
My day ended with me discovering my next door neighbor mowing my lawn. Our house was one of the few that had not been mowed yet this spring, and it was looking pretty jungly. But I had not said a thing about it, and without any hesitation Darren came home from a full day of work to do something kind for me. That act alone restored my faith in people for the day. Not everyday will go smoothly; not every interaction will be pleasant. But for every bad moment there are many more good moments, and these are what we should hold onto. It is so easy to cling to the anger and resentment - I did most of the day - but the good moments are what enrich our lives, and we should give them the greater attention they deserve.
My first and biggest lesson from this encounter was to be very careful with the interactions I have with strangers. That woman doesn't know me, and has absolutely no concept that her few sentences to me threw off my entire morning. I was so embarrassed and angry and indignant and so many other things, and had no way to really deal with it because my interaction was over as soon as I drove away. How many times do I get snippy with a customer service person over the phone, or act less than polite to someone I deal with at a store? I tell myself what I say doesn't matter, they don't know me and I will never see them again. After today, I will think long and hard, as I now realize the impact even a stranger can have on my emotional health on any given day.
I spent the rest of the day doing all I could to ensure my bad beginning did not define my day. I cried on the phone to my mom, finally processing what had happened and allowing myself be upset by it. I took full advantage of quiet time and lay in my bed with my eyes closed for almost two hours. I didn't even sleep much, but gave my eyes some much-needed rest. I spent time with my daughters, letting their love refill my emotional bucket.
My day ended with me discovering my next door neighbor mowing my lawn. Our house was one of the few that had not been mowed yet this spring, and it was looking pretty jungly. But I had not said a thing about it, and without any hesitation Darren came home from a full day of work to do something kind for me. That act alone restored my faith in people for the day. Not everyday will go smoothly; not every interaction will be pleasant. But for every bad moment there are many more good moments, and these are what we should hold onto. It is so easy to cling to the anger and resentment - I did most of the day - but the good moments are what enrich our lives, and we should give them the greater attention they deserve.
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